Fall in Love
by lilybugsondrugs
Summary: Selene had always wanted a life of her own, where her actions and feelings were her choice and no one else’s. She thought it was impossible to break free, until she met someone who also could not be bound in chains. (UNDER MAJOR REVISION, update TBD
1. Chapter One

It was raining; large drops falling against the ceiling and hitting her small window seemed to drown out any other noise she might've heard. It wasn't enough to drown out the ringing in her ears or her pounding heart.

She was sprawled out on the floor, still reeling from the hard smack to the face she received. Her mother stood over her, her neck and cheeks flushed with anger. She remained on the floor, keeping her eyes down, ignoring the stinging on her cheek. She could feel that she was bleeding, but she didn't dare move.

"How dare you..." her mother began and stopped, clenching her teeth as she began pacing, her heels clicking against the marble floor. "You disgrace this family, Selene!"

Selene didn't dare speak or move still, knowing any little thing would earn her another strike. Her mother was as fierce as she was strong. And just as impossible to please as her father. Selene was lucky he was not the one to have caught her. Was it really so bad what she had done? What was wrong with kindness? Compassion?

"Get up!" Her mother barked at her, ceasing her pacing to glare at her.

Selene quickly got to her feet, ignoring the way it made her head spin. Her mother took a step forward and grabbed her daughter's face, pulling her close. They looked nothing alike, save for the color of their eyes. Both were a vibrant shade of blue and cold like ice. They glared at each other, never breaking eye contact, almost as though they could communicate without speaking.

"I'm disgusted. Interacting with vermin will make you no better! Until you leave for school, you will never go unattended." She released her daughter and pointed a finger at her. "Do I make myself clear, Selene?"

"Yes, ma'am." Selene whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I understand."

Her mother shoved her again, making Selene stumble, but she caught herself before she fell and kept her head down, waiting for her mother to leave. What would she do? She was a prisoner in her own home now, though she supposed nothing had actually changed. She'd always felt like a prisoner.

Once her mother had left, slamming Selene's bedroom door behind herself, Selene ran across her room and threw herself onto her bed, allowing the tears to flow freely. She knew something terrible was going to happen to that poor elf. Her family was horrible to him, cursing at him, beating him, ordering him around all day and night with no reprieve. Selene didn't even know if he ate or slept. He was so thin and bony. Then again she had never seen a house elf look otherwise.

She wanted to run away, but she had nowhere to go and no one to help her. How could she hide though, with the power her family held they could find her anywhere. She believed that.

Selene sat up, wiping the tears from her eyes, staring down at the blood smear on her pearl white pillow. Just a few more weeks and she could leave this place for almost a whole year. She would be able to taste freedom soon. It was hard to believe that in a few more years it would be over. Who knew what would happen when she had finished school. Her parents never spoke of their plans for her, but she knew it must include a husband and a few well-bred, pure-blood children.

And it's not that she didn't want those things for herself as well, but she was still young. And it should be her choice. But it didn't matter to her mother and father if she loved the man they chose for her.

Because she knew they did not love each other. They slept in different rooms and hardly ever spoke to each other unless it had to do with business.

Most times children grew up copying their parents, but Selene had known from the beginning she didn't want their life. She wanted her own.

Selene stood and walked over to her desk, sitting down and pulling out a sheet of parchment and her quill. No, she wouldn't run away. She was smarter than that. Instead she made a to-do list of sorts. Things she wanted to accomplish before her life was over. Her quill scratched against the parchment as she wrote, entirely focused on her task.

When she was finished she sat back with a small, satisfied smile, looking over her list. It was small, but everything she wanted was right there in front of her, waiting for her to reach out and claim it as her own. She stared at the last line, her heart feeling like it was being squeezed. It was the final thing she would do. The last revenge, if it was accurate to call it that. If her parents were going to dictate the rest of her life, Selene was going to fight until the end.

Once the ink was dry, she rolled up the sheet of parchment and carefully secured it in her drawer, mixing it in with all the other papers she had in there. She would hide it there until it was time to leave, taking it with her to Hogwarts.

With a smile that finally seemed to reach those ice blue eyes, Selene stood and made her way back to her bed, the words of the last line on her list scrolling through her mind, replaying over and over as she closed her eyes to sleep.

 _Fall in love._


	2. Chapter Two

***A/N: I'm not too sure where I'm going with this. I was inspired one night at work and just decided to write. But hopefully you enjoy where I may blindly take this story. Please feel free to critique. It's been a while since I wrote a Marauders fic.***

When Selene woke the next morning, she didn't move for quite some time. It felt like it could have been hours, though she knew it had probably only been one. She didn't want to get up. She wanted to pause the world so she could stay in bed and sleep some more. Selene would dream forever if it were possible.

She rolled over in her bed and stared at the window, gazing at the drops of water that slid down the glass, moving faster as they collected drops that had stopped moving. It felt like the sky was crying. It had been raining for almost a week straight. It was downright depressing.

Selene sighed and sat up slowly, still thinking about what she might encounter when she went downstairs. Her mother might not even look at her, and her father may have a few words of his own. He never laid his hands on her though. It was Selene's mother that would beat her for her wrongdoings.

Sliding out of her bed, Selene shuffled towards her vanity, plopping down in the tiny chair to rip the knots out of her hair. She loved her hair, she just hated how long and curly it was. Selene had inherited her father's beach blonde hair and sharp, pointed features. She very much looked like a small bird.

After braiding her hair down her back, she pulled on a casual dress; one of her favorites. It fell to about mid-thigh, and mostly resembled a long t-shirt, except that it gently hugged her body like a dress. It was a pale pink color, made to look faded. She preferred wearing dresses. In fact, Selene could count how many pairs of pants she owned on one hand.

Selene stared at her reflection once she was ready, dreading having to see her mother. All she had done was offer the house elf something to eat. He had fallen on the way to her room, and looked as though he was struggling to even stand. So she snuck him into her room and offered him part of some of the food she hid sometimes.

He had declined and protested at first, but after a few minutes of having a cookie waved in his face, he had snatched it from her hand and devoured it, apologizing immediately while smacking himself. It wasn't long after that that Selene had been caught trying to stop the house elf from punishing himself. It wasn't fair. If ever she did run away, she would take him with her. She would order him to follow, then she would set him free.

"If I procrastinate any longer, Mother will drag me out by my ear." Selene grimaced at her reflection and stood, closing her bedroom door behind herself softly before running down the stairs. When she reached the dining room, her family had already taken their seats and began eating.

Selene quickly sat down in her usual spot at the very end of the table, as far away from her parents as possible.

"It's about time you joined us, Selene." Her mother said scathingly.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I slept in." Selene responded quietly, waiting to be served her breakfast. "I had the strangest dream."

"About?"

Selene looked to her father, slightly shocked that he would have an interest in her dream.

"I was alone in a forest, just wandering around. I don't know for how long, but it was nearly pitch black. I could hear howling, like maybe a dog or a wolf." Selene paused, trying to remember. It was fading now. "I came to a cliff eventually, and stood on the edge. The howling was getting louder, like the beast was getting closer. I didn't know what else to do, so I jumped."

There was a long stretch of silence. Selene watched as a different house elf brought her food, placing it before her and bowing low before scurrying away, not giving her a chance to thank him.

"Why do you think you jumped?" Her father finally asked.

"I don't really know." Selene frowned at her food. "I wasn't afraid... I just..." she sighed. "I didn't want to know what it was."

"Good." Her mother deadpanned. "You're curious enough as it is. You need to learn restraint."

"Yes, Mother." Selene muttered, pushing her food around on her plate, picking at what she wanted and playing with what she didn't. Which just so happened to be most of it. She wasn't hungry—this was a formality. She was obligated to be here. "Can I go outside after breakfast?"

"It's raining, Selene. Of course you can't."

"But it's only a light drizzle, and I'll take an umbrella. I just want to go for a walk. Clear my head. Please?"

"I don't see why not."

Selene smiled, looking at her father hopefully. Her mother glared at him.

"I said no."

"I'll go with her. I would like to hear more about that dream." Her father said, his face composed as he continued eating. Selene sat in smug silence, thinking that maybe her father was the better of the two. He'd never gone against her mother like that, putting his foot down to allow Selene to do as she pleased. It confused her slightly, but she was happier for it now at least.

After he'd finished eating, he pushed away from the table and allowed himself a small smile as he looked at his daughter.

"Shall we?"

Selene jumped out of her seat, her half eaten breakfast forgotten as she hurried to the front door, pulling on her shoes and grabbing an umbrella from the stand. Selene's father walked along beside her, his arm looped through hers as they hid under the protection of their umbrella.

"Was there more to your dream, Selene?" He asked, looking out at his property, thoughtful.

"Not really. Except... I didn't really jump. From the cliff, I mean. I only said that because of Mother."

He nodded. "I see. She doesn't understand that dreams are uncontrollable. So you waited to see the beast, then."

Selene nodded. "It was a dog. A mangy black dog. He didn't come close to me, he just stayed at the edge of the forest, staring at me. When I tried to move closer, he ran away, like he didn't want me to get near him."

"You know it was a male?"

She shrugged. "I felt it. I just knew."

Selene let go of the umbrella, handing it to her father to step out into the rain, lifting her face to the sky. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"You remind me of my sister."

Selene turned around to look at him. Her father looked lost in thought and sad.

"I never met her."

He smiled. "No, of course not. But the two of you would have been inseparable. You inherited her temperament. She was kind and loving like you, unable to hurt or hate."

Selene smiled. "What was her name?"

"Celeste." He laughed, shaking his head. "I wish she could be here to see you."

"Hey..." Selene moves towards her father hesitantly, unsure of this sudden emotion. He'd talked about her aunt a few times, but he'd never given her a name or really described her. It upset him. Something terrible must have happened to her. "It's okay."

She hugged him tight and he held her. Selene could feel him trying to hold it together. She'd never seen her father's composure fall flat.

"I'm sorry, Selene." He said suddenly, taking a step back as he wiped his face. "I wanted this moment with you. I allow your mother to act the way she does to protect you. You don't see it now, but in the years to come you will."

Selene frowned. "Father?"

"I could not protect Celeste." He said brokenly. "But I will continue to try, as I have been, to protect you. I hope you will understand."

"You're scaring me." Selene took a step back, trying to understand what he could mean. "What are you saying?"

"Come." He held out his hand. "Your mother also had something to say."


	3. Chapter Three

It was hardly believable. Selene didn't know what to say. What could she say? Those blue eyes looked around the room, seeking out her father but only seeing strangers. She had met these people before, but only briefly, and at a young age. The memory was fuzzy, but it was there.

A young boy, backed by an older woman and man, stood before her. They were regal and polished, and had an air about them that reminded Selene of her own mother. The boy had long dark hair to his chin, sharp cheekbones and a strong jaw. He stood with his back straight and his nose high, like he were looking down on her. He was at least a foot taller.

"Selene, you have met Mr. and Mrs. Black. This is their son, Regulus."

At the sound of his name, Regulus took a step forward. Selene held out her hand, controlling her face into a mask of indifference. He took her hand gently, kissing her knuckles in greeting. Any other girl might have been flattered. But she knew this family. Or rather, she knew one particular member, and he had never been particularly nice to her.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She said, inclining her head towards the older man and woman. They did not smile or return the gesture. Instead, they turned to her own parents.

"Shall we move elsewhere? We would like to speak in private." Mrs. Black turned her harsh gaze to Selene, still speaking. "It should give Regulus proper time to further know his future bride..."

Selene gaped at her parents, feeling as though she had just been hit by a train. Regulus smiled at her, and taking her hand once more, led her out of the entrance room and guided her towards her own living room, as though he lived there and not her.

Once alone, Selene snatched her hand away and took several steps back, eyeing Regulus warily. How else was she supposed to respond? She was still only a girl! Just fourteen years old. She didn't want to be locked into an engagement with a boy she hardly knew.

No, she knew him. She knew the family, and that was enough. They were witches and wizards that valued status above all else. Blood purity above all else. She wanted nothing to do with him or any of his family.

"You're unhappy." Regulus started, seating himself in her father's chair in front of the fireplace. It made her blood boil to see him sitting there as if he owned it.

"Damn right!" She fumed, beginning to pace. "You can't tell me you're happy about this."

"What is there to be unhappy about, Ms. Pelletier?"

Selene was nearly at a loss for words. "I don't want to be married!" She finally shouted, stomping her foot and breathing hard. "I'm not nearly ready, first of all, and I know nothing about you."

"Didn't you hear my mother?" Regulus asked, gazing at the massive paintings hanging on the wall, watching the figures go about their own business within the frames. "She said future. We won't be married until we graduate."

"You would marry a girl you don't know, whom you may never like, simply because you're told?" Selene asked, nearly whispering now. "I don't want that. You can't want that."

He stood, moving to stand in front of her. He took her hands in his own and attempted to hold her gaze.

"We could learn to love each other, in time I suppose. You will grow to be beautiful, and with my last name and both of our families joined, powerful as well. Doesn't that appeal to you?"

She hesitated. "I don't care about those things."

"Tell me what you care about then." He said, beginning to sound exasperated. "Allow me to get to know you."

Selene pulled her hands from him and turned around, walking over to the fireplace, watching the flames dance.

"I care about feelings... and people. All the different creatures." She said, turning to face Regulus again. "I value all life, even lives some may think are lesser than my own. I value these things above my own life."

Regulus didn't respond to her words. She turned away from him once more, wishing now more than ever that she was anywhere than where she was at that moment. Had her mother gone through the very same thing Selene was going through now? Was her mother once a sweet girl, turned into a hateful woman by a cruel life?

"I'm sorry." She spoke after a while. "I know I shouldn't think such things."

"No, you shouldn't." He responded. She could feel him standing behind her now. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "But I can teach you the things you should know. That you should believe in yourself. Your family is only doing what they believe is best."

"You believe your family is looking out for you?" Selene asked quietly. "Do you really think this isn't for their own personal gain?"

"So what if it is? We also benefit, wouldn't you agree?"

"I suppose..." She bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears. Selene thought back to the walk she took with her father, remembering how sad and almost desperate he had seemed to her. If not her mother, then whatever measures he thought were necessary, maybe her father thought this would protect her... from whatever it was she needed to be protected from. What did this family have to offer? What protection could Regulus and his family give her when she felt safe enough right now?

"Would you like to see my favorite room?" Selene asked hesitantly, turning to face her betrothed. "It's nothing special, but I could be there for hours."

Regulus grinned. "I would like nothing better."

Selene smiled and took his hand, guiding him out of the living room and up three flights of stairs. To anyone else, her home may seem cold, but she didn't see it that way. It was a work of art. The floors were white marble with veins of silver, and the white floral tapestry on the walls shimmered with hidden silver accents. The walls were lined with gilded paintings of ancestors she'd never learned about. She felt like she was walking through an art gallery sometimes.

"Here it is. My home within my home." Selene laughed lightly, gesturing for Regulus to go inside. "I like reading and art. When I'm feeling inspired, I paint. When I don't want to paint, I read one of my father's books."

"Was this originally a study?" Regulus asked, moving towards the wall of books on the opposite side of the room. This room alone probably had at least a thousand books.

Selene nodded. "My father removed most of his office supplies when I started taking an interest in art. I made the argument that this room gets the best sunlight during the day."

"I'm sure it does." He said, still admiring the vast collection of books. "How many of these would you say you've read?"

"Not even a quarter." Selene moved to stand next to him, but instead of looking at the books, her eyes were on Regulus. He looked awestruck, as though he'd never seen so many books in one place. "I want to read them all one day."

"My family has a study similar to this, but nothing comparable." He murmured, pulling one of the books off the shelf, thumbing through the pages. "This is beyond my imagination."

"You can take one if you like."

Regulus looked at her immediately, his grey eyes wide. "You're serious?"

She laughed. "Of course. None of us will miss it. Consider it a gift of good faith." Selene paused, mapping out her next words. "I don't want to get married yet. But we don't have to think about that right now. Maybe... maybe we can focus on just being friends. For now, you know, our betrothal aside."

He nodded. "Don't tell my mother."

"What's she like? She doesn't look like a pleasant woman."

Regulus had to laugh at her words. "You're right. To most people she's harsh and acts as rich as she is. But to me, she just my mother. What about you?"

Selene shrugged, sitting on the large leather sectional near the book wall. Regulus sat beside her, though keeping a polite distance. Selene appreciated that.

"I guess it's about the same. Except my mother seems to treat me like she treats anyone else." Selene smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. Her hand immediately moved to the cut healing on her cheek. "Sometimes I think she never wanted me."

"Maybe you think too much." Regulus offered in a soft voice, nudging her shoulder. "My older brother probably thinks the same way. He hates our family."

"A lot of people hate your family."

"They think we have the wrong mindset, but think about it. If our world was run by the ones who have lived this life for generations, maybe things would be better. Half-bloods and muggleborns and the like all live half lives, I guess you could say. One foot in the muggle world, one foot in the magical world."

Selene pursed her lips in consideration. "Maybe... except most purebloods are cruel to people who they think are lesser than them. I don't want to be a part of something like that."

Regulus frowned. "You're very complex."

"I think too much." She smiled at him and stood, gesturing for him to follow. "Maybe our parents are finished talking."

He stood, practically grinning from ear-to-ear now. "Or maybe they're not done talking and we can eavesdrop."


	4. Chapter Four

The train whistling was nearly enough to drown out her thoughts and the people shouting around her. This was probably her least favorite thing about Hogwarts. First Years running around, too excited or entirely frightened. And everyone else mulling about, unconcerned with getting out of the way. It was infuriating.

However she counted herself lucky to have someone calm walking beside her. No matter what anyone else said about Regulus Black, he was a gentleman and had somehow managed to become a decent friend over the last couple of weeks. Of course there were times where they didn't see eye to eye, but those times led to debates, which Selene didn't think was all that bad.

Truthfully, she found that it was the best way to get Regulus to talk about his beliefs. She heard the same things from him often, and usually they were the same things she'd heard his parents say. It was like he was memorizing their words and playing them back. But when they argued it was like the fog lifted.

Regulus still honestly believed in his parents. He believed they were right. But in those debates he actually explained himself, and though Selene neither agreed with nor understood how he could really believe any of it was right, she respected him a little more. He had a brain. He was intelligent and kind-hearted. He was just being led by the wrong people. It made her a little sad sometimes.

"I won't be able to stay with you for long." Regulus said once they were boarded, helping Selene lift her bags up onto the racks overhead. "No one knows yet. I'm sure you don't want it announced any time soon."

"Absolutely not!" Selene said, maybe a little too quickly. Maybe she was just imagining it, but she could have sworn she saw hurt in his eyes. Even if it was only for a second. She cleared her throat. "It's okay anyway. I have friends who sit with me that probably wouldn't like that you're here."

Regulus nodded, then reached for her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles just like he'd done when they first met, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"My lady." With a small bow, he left the compartment and Selene by herself until her friends arrived. She huffed with frustration and plopped down into the seat, kicking her feet up into the empty space, leaning against the wall.

If she were being honest with herself, she tried to see herself with Regulus. He was kind to her, and could actually carry on a conversation with her. He was good looking and was the heir to a rich and powerful pureblood family. What more could a girl ask for? Anyone else would kill to be in her shoes. They would make it work.

Did she want to make it work? In the few times Selene had visited 12 Grimmauld Place, she had definitely seen love between Orion and Walburga Black. It was there. Her mother and father didn't quite possess that same love for each other. Which scenario would apply to her in the end?

Then again, she also felt it was too soon to try to identify their relationship. Selene and Regulus both were too young to be thinking about marriage, and hardly old enough to grasp the concept of forever. Selene just wanted to be friends, but when he did things like that, it tossed her mind around. It got her thinking again and again. Maybe he knew what it did. Maybe he was trying to confuse her.

"Selene!"

Before her thoughts could turn accusatory, Selene was smothered by a tight hug. When she was released, she couldn't help but smile at her attacker.

"Lily, how are you?" Selene moved her feet, patting the space beside her so she could sit. "Why don't you write? I never have things to do during the summer. It might've been a shred of company."

"I'm sorry, Lena, I got a little tied up this summer." Selene watched the color rise to her cheeks and narrowed her eyes in suspicion, pointing a finger at Lily.

"Is it James?"

"What? I mean, I have agreed to go on at least two dates this summer and I suppose he's... matured a little more. His ego isn't as big, you know?"

Selene shook her head, though she was smiling. She was happy for her friend.

"At least two?"

Lily was nearly as red as her hair by the time the others had made it to her compartment, with James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin sitting across from them. A pudgy, squat young man scurried in after them, taking a seat on the opposite side of Lily. Selene couldn't help but think Peter Pettigrew looked very... rodent-like.

"What'd we miss? Lily?" James looked thoroughly confused. Lily laughed, fanning herself and lifting her hair away from her neck.

"It's alright." She was beginning to look normal again. Selene turned away from the conversation, distracted by the sudden movement of the train. She liked to watch the world zoom by, imagining herself sitting on top of the train instead of inside, her arms spread wide like she could fly.

When Selene turned her gaze away from the window, it was met by Sirius, whose sharp grey eyes seemed to bore into her soul. It made her slightly uncomfortable. Did he know?

Of course not. She pushed that thought far from her mind. He had abandoned the Black family. He'd been disowned and practically forgotten. Who would have told him?

"Lily told me you like to paint, Selene."

Selene jumped, startled by James suddenly speaking to her. "Oh, uh, right. Yes, I like to paint. Why?"

"Can you paint people? Like for instance... myself playing Quidditch." He grinned. It was a quirky smile, though it suited him. Selene could see how Lily had lost the will to keep fighting against his efforts to date her.

She laughed. "I can try. Just let me know."

"Brilliant!" James clapped his hands. "I'm going to hang it on my wall in my room when it's finished. Make sure you sign it, that way when you become a famous artist I can boast about having an original."

Selene blushed. "I'm not sure if I'm good enough to become famous."

"Enough false modesty, Lena." Lily shoulder bumped her. "Your work is amazing."

"I suppose." She shrugged, turning back to the window. Selene glanced out of the corner of her eye at Sirius, though he was no longer paying any attention to her. He was joking around with his mates.

She knew he didn't like her. He'd made that very clear not long after Lily had started including her during her second year. He thought she was a coward who was just afraid of losing the comforts of her family. He'd disowned his family, scorning their beliefs. He was headstrong and though he was a massive git at times, he had high morals. Simply put they were a lot alike. She just lacked the courage to tell her family how she really felt. Selene wasn't brave enough to leave.

And for some reason he hated her for it.

Selene took a deep breath, suddenly feeling a little smothered in the compartment they were all comfortably crammed. She stood, almost out the door when she felt a hand on her wrist.

"Where are you going?"

Selene turned, smiling at Lily. "I just need some air. I'll be back soon."

She pulled her arm free from Lily's grasp and moved through the pockets of students crowding the tiny corridor, aiming for the back of the train. She'd never been claustrophobic but right now, she felt a desperate need to breathe, and it wasn't happening inside this train.

She hurried outside and sat down, the wind in her ears deafening as they flew through the countryside. Selene took a deep breath, closing her eyes and imagining she was flying. This was as close as she was going to get. She was actually terrified of heights. She admired James for his skill on a broomstick. The one time she'd tried actually flying, it nearly sent her into a panic attack. She'd never gotten on another broom since.

"Tired of your friends already?" She heard a deep voice speak from behind her, though she didn't respond. Maybe if she ignored him he would go away. "Thought maybe you'd run off to go hang with the Slytherins."

"Why on earth would I do something like that?"

"Because you're practically one of them." Sirius said, taking a seat beside her. She opened her eyes and turned to glare at him.

"What do you want, Black?"

"Nothing, Pelletier. Just curious as to why I saw Regulus leaving the compartment earlier. I've never seen the two of you talk before. Why now?"

Selene shifted uncomfortably. "My parents are close to yours. It shouldn't be a surprise that Regulus and I became acquainted this summer." She said evasively. "And besides it's none of your business."

"My brother, my business."

"Last time I checked, you aren't his brother anymore." Selene snapped. "You abandoned your family for another."

"Watch what you say..." Sirius said quietly, fury in his voice.

"It's true though, isn't it?" Selene quipped, looking back at the scenery before her. "You abandoned your family because you couldn't handle them. Just because you see something a different way. You may be blood, but you're not family."

Sirius was beet red by now. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" Selene looked at him again, but her eyes were sad. The blue shined like crystals, like she was holding back tears. It surprised the anger right out of him. She stood abruptly, leaving him alone. She shoved her way through the crowd of people and locked herself in an empty compartment, closing the curtains so no one could see her inside.

Once she was completely alone, she sat down and pulled her knees close to her chest and began to cry in earnest. She let out all the hurt and anger she'd felt all summer. Sirius knew nothing about her. He could assume all he wanted to, but at the end of the day she loved her family. She hated that they didn't understand her, or even try to, but she was loyal to them nonetheless. Without her family, what did Selene have? A name that meant nothing. She would be truly alone. She had no one to run to like Sirius did.

She felt as alone as she always had.


	5. Chapter Five

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

Selene pushed her food around idly, her eyes moving up every so often to stare at her friends across the Great Hall, laughing and having a good time. She felt miserable. Her eyes stung from crying and even though she could feel her stomach rumbling, she had no appetite. The food before her had no appeal. She felt like she was back at home again.

"Are you okay?"

Selene looked at the girl beside her. She was a classmate, a year younger than her probably, though she wasn't exactly an expert at guessing ages. Her hair was long and dark, her big eyes were a light shade of brown, like milk chocolate. Her smile was kind. Selene cursed herself for being unable to remember her name.

"I'm fine. I just had a bad day is all."

"Eat this." She reaches across the table and held out a small cake with yellow icing. Selene could smell the lemon, and her stomach rumbled again. Murmuring her thanks, she took the cake and took a tiny bite from it, setting it on the edge of her plate to be forgotten with the rest of her food.

When she looked up, her eyes instantly found Regulus. He was looking at her too. Noticing that she was looking at him, he smiled and waved. Selene gave him a halfhearted smile and waved back, quickly averting her gaze. How much longer was she going to be forced to sit there?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Selene turned to the girl abruptly. "What's your name?"

"Um, Fiona. We have Potions together." Her expression looked a little put-out.

"Well, Fiona, I'm sorry to be so blunt but no, I don't really want to talk about it. And if I did I would have told you when you asked the first time."

Selene only felt mildly guilty for her harsh words. It was very uncharacteristic of her, but her nerves were frayed. All she wanted at this point was to curl up in her nice comfy bed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"It's alright. I should be the one apologizing." Though instead of doing so, Selene stood and with a departing smile to Fiona, she hurried out of the Great Hall, practically running in the direction of the Hufflepuff commons.

"Late for a party?"

"Regulus you git!" Selene yelped, her heart nearly leaping out of her chest. Regulus was grinning, his hands in his pockets. He must've followed her when he noticed she was gone. "Don't ever scare me like that!"

"Or what?" He laughed, reaching forward to push away a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes. She slapped his hand away.

"Not here." She grabbed his wrist and tugged him along behind her into a nearby classroom. "Why did you follow me?"

"I was worried." He shrugged. "I could see your puffy eyes from across the room. Who upset you?"

Tears sprang forward but Selene forced them to stay put, taking deep breaths and shaking her head.

"No one. I—I just have a lot on my mind."

"Don't tell me you're still upset about our betrothal. I thought we agreed—"

"No, no... not that. I told you I just have a lot on my mind, and I'm exhausted. I'd like to go to bed."

"Well I'll walk you there." Regulus said firmly, leaving no room for argument. Selene huffed and walked out ahead of him, trying her best to keep her distance but his longer stride beat her in the end. She slowed down, allowing them both to be able to walk at a more relaxed pace. For a moment she enjoyed the silence. With everyone still at dinner, it was almost eerily quiet. Their footsteps echoed, bouncing back and forth from wall to wall.

"So... your family is from Paris. You're the first to go to Hogwarts?"

Selene rolled her eyes. "I was rather enjoying the quiet, Regulus, but yes. I'm the first of my family to ever attend this school. Why?"

"Curiosity. My mother doesn't really like that you're not in Slytherin."

"Does it bother you?"

Regulus hesitated. "Not really. I just think it's odd."

"Why?"

"Well you're a high-born pureblood. The type that normally ends up in Slytherin."

Selene shrugged. "From what I understand, the Sorting Hat places you based on your traits. The parts of you that make you who you are. I suppose I represent what a Hufflepuff is. I don't see a problem with that."

"Well of course there's no problem, I—never mind. It really isn't important. My mother complains a lot is all."

"Then your mother and mine will get along perfectly." Selene tried to smile. "But this is where I have to leave you. Will you go back to dinner?"

"I have to. Don't want any rumors going around. I left almost as soon as I saw you leave."

"Right, yeah." Selene frowned and looked down at her feet. A small part of her wanted to stay and talk to Regulus. Maybe she should tell him the way his older brother treated her. But that would cause problems. The secret would slip.

"Hey, what—"

But before she could finish he had already pulled her in for a tight hug. Selene tried to push him away, but when he didn't budge, she gave up and hugged him back tentatively, burying her face in the slope of his neck. He smelled like fresh parchment and men's cologne.

"Don't worry so much." He said, finally breaking the silence. "Try to get some sleep, alright? I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay." She whispered, pulling away from him slowly. He smiled at her and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to her forehead. Her cheeks burned and her heart slammed against her chest. He left her like that, standing dumbfounded before the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. Numbly she went inside and walked up the stairs to her dormitory, changing out of her uniform into a pair of shorts and big t-shirt.

When she laid down, she pulled her covers over her head and curled up, wrapping her arms around herself. She didn't want to think, so she squeezed her eyes shut and forced her invasive thoughts to the back of her mind. Within minutes she was out.

 _It was dark, almost too dark to even see her hand in front of her face. She took careful steps, wincing every time her foot came down on dry leaves or a branch, the sounds echoing through the forest. She felt watched. Her heart was racing and she was breathing hard, though she hadn't been running. There was no danger but she was on edge._

 _She kept walking, unable to see but somehow knowing exactly where she wanted to go. It felt like she had been walking for miles. Her whole body ached, almost as though she had been tossed around like a doll. She could hear howling in the distance, and it urged her to quicken her pace._

 _The howling was getting closer. She felt like she could hear breathing other than her own. As she walked, she kept glancing over her shoulder, just waiting for some sort of monster to leap out at her and kill her. When she reached the edge of the forest she stopped, staring at the cliff side. The moonlight illuminated the darkness, finally allowing her to see. Slowly she began walking towards the cliff._

 _"Who's there?" She shouted suddenly, whirling around when she heard a twig snap behind her, but there was nothing. Or it looked like nothing at first. She squinted at the forest, desperately trying to distinguish the dark mass that lurked near the forest edge. She could see the glint of moonlight in a set eyes, watching her._

 _"Come out now!" She said, trying to sound brave. Her hands were shaking. "I can see you!"_

 _She took a step forward, but the beast didn't move. She heard a low growl, like a warning. It was a black dog. She was amazed by the size, too large to be a normal dog. Maybe it was a wolf. It inches out of the forest a few steps, it's nose lifted into the air like he was trying to smell her._

 _"I won't hurt you." She murmured, taking another step forward. "I'm not like the others."_

 _The dog growled again, giving her one last long look before retreating back into the woods._


	6. Chapter Six

In class the next morning, Selene was out of it. She didn't feel like she had slept at all. The image of that dog was still vivid in her mind, staring at her with eyes too intelligent to belong to an animal. The dream had been different this time. The dog had been interested, coming closer on its own. If she hadn't moved, maybe she would have been able to get a better view. Maybe he would have let her touch him.

She didn't know. Selene's head was pounding and her eyelids felt heavy, as though they were made of lead. Her head dropped as the professor droned on about the long and utterly boring history of muggles. Maybe any other day she might've been fascinated, but not today. Today she'd wished she'd brought her pillow to class.

Most of her classmates weren't paying attention either, so instead of forcing herself to remain coherent, she put her head down and closed her eyes, trying to focus on her breathing. The professor was beyond noticing, and she really did have the worst headache.

When her muggle studies class was over, she dreaded her next class. Potions. She was skilled, it wasn't that she wasn't any good. But this period was shared with the Gryffindors, and that meant a loud classroom, and Selene wasn't prepared for that. If she knew a spell to lower everyone's voices to a whisper, it would make her life right now ten times easier. But she knew no such spell, and so she had to suffer.

She sat as far away from the groups she knew would be the loudest, taking her place beside Fiona, the girl she'd snapped at during dinner last night. She was feeling a little more guilty about her outburst now than she had yesterday. So when she sat down and organized her things on the desk, Selene turned to face her.

"Hey, uh, Fiona. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I wasn't feeling like myself."

Fiona smiled at her kindly. "Don't worry about it. We all have bad days. How are you feeling today?"

"A little better." She lied, pushing her hair out of her face. "I could use some more sleep though."

Fiona laughed a little. "We all need more sleep. They slave us sometimes."

"This is our last year before our exams next year." Selene said thoughtfully. "I don't really mind the work."

"You might be the only one." Fiona looked a little shocked, but mostly unfazed. "Don't get me wrong, I love learning, but I've never been very good with schoolwork. I procrastinate and I don't test well."

Selene realized once you got Fiona talking, she didn't stop. But she didn't really mind. Her babbling kept her mind off the pounding in her skull for the most part. Slughorn was as jolly as always as he hurried into the room, greeting the class and instructing them to open up their books.

"Today we will be brewing the Girding potion! Can anyone tell me what it does?"

A few moments of complete silence passed before a single hand shot up. Selene glanced over at Fiona, surprised that she knew. But looking down, she saw that her free hand was already on the instruction page, her finger pointed at the top paragraph.

"It increases your endurance, sir."

"Very good, Ms. Blake! However, there is a limit to how much you should drink. The maximum dosage is just these two little phials." Professor Slughorn held up two bottles, full of swirling golden liquid. "As with any potion, nasty stuff can happen if brewed incorrectly or should you drink too much. Now then, let's get to work shall we? I'll be walking around to check your progress. Begin!"

"You'll be his pet in no time." Selene commented, moving to the supplies cabinet with Fiona to gather their ingredients. She shrugged, a tiny smile on her face.

"He's one of my favorite teachers." She said. "I want to score high enough on our OWLs to make it into his advanced class during our sixth year. Maybe I might even make it into the Slug Club."

"I'm good." Selene's face contorted into a distasteful expression. "I don't hate him. This just isn't my favorite class."

"What is then?" Fiona asked as she began making her potion, stirring in her fairy wings and turning up the heat. After a few moments, her potion turned a brilliant shade of turquoise.

"Care of Magical Creatures." Selene smiled sheepishly. "And Transfiguration, though McGonagall is a difficult teacher."

"That's for sure." Fiona said distractedly. Selene watched as she dropped a few doxy eggs into her potion at a time, stirring the mixture until it finally changed into a vibrant pink. She was brewing this potion as if she'd made it a hundred times before.

"You haven't started." Fiona glanced at Selene, casting her eyes down to her cauldron. "The instructions are clear. Is it difficult for you?"

"Uh no, I was just watching you. You're very talented."

Fiona blushed. "No, I just study a lot. Some day I want to be like Madam Pomfrey, but I would like to work at St. Mungo's, not a school. Have you ever thought of what you want to do after school?"

"No, not really." Selene stirred her potion, not liking the murky green color it was turning. "My family probably has plans for me when I graduate."

"Wait, so you haven't even thought about it? You haven't tried talking to your parents about what you want?"

Selene shrugged, unsure of what else to say. What could she say? Fiona was a muggleborn, so she didn't understand the dynamics of Selene's world. She didn't understand that most pureblood children had their future decided for them before they were even born. It was like being a slave to your own family.

"Well I think you should. Everyone should get a chance to pursue their dreams."

Selene laughed before she could stop herself. Fiona was something else.

Pursue her dream, huh?

Yeah, right.


	7. Chapter Seven

"Didn't get much sleep did you, Lena?"

Selene jumped at the sound of her nickname, whirling around to face Lily, who never failed to sneak up on her and scare the life straight out of her.

"No, not really. I had that stupid dream again."

"What dream?" She asked quietly, sitting across from Selene.

Libraries were usually always quiet, but it was fairly early in the morning, and it was a Saturday no less, which meant the only students who thought it was a good idea for an early morning adventure to the library were the ones with late assignments or students like Selene, desperate for answers.

Selene hesitated to tell Lily. It wasn't that she didn't trust her friend—she did, probably with her life. The only other person who knew about her dreams was her father, and he had never offered her any insight. How was it possible to have the same dream, with only the slightest of differences every time?

"It's about a dog..." she began slowly, thinking about her words carefully. "A black dog."

Lily frowned. "Like the Grim?"

Selene shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm never afraid. I always try to get closer. But everything I find in this stupid library always brings me back to death omens! Superstitious malarkey."

She glared at the massive book before her and closed it, shoving it off to the side of the table, beginning to lose her patience. Maybe she would just give up trying to figure out what it could mean. She could just be tired all the time. Maybe she would get Fiona to make her some sort of energy potion. If such a thing existed.

"Maybe you should drop one of your electives and pick up Divination." Lily suggested, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand. "It's still early enough in the semester to do that. You're smart so you won't have to worry about falling behind. Besides, Divination is mostly senseless anyway. However they study dreams at some point this year. I took the class for a little while before I dropped it."

"I don't really want to announce my dream to an entire class."

"No, you won't do that. You record your dreams in a notebook, and the professor will help you study it in confidence if you prefer."

"I'll look into it." Selene said. "What time is it?"

"Almost time for breakfast." Lily smiled, rising from her seat. "Sit with us, alright? I need to go make sure James doesn't sleep all morning, but I'll see you there."

"Alright." Selene began gathering her things, putting back the books she had been reading onto the shelves she had found them.

She might take Divination, but would have to talk to the Headmaster before she considered it. What she wanted most was for the dreams to stop. Or for someone to have the dream for her so she could gain something from it. Was her brain trying to tell her something? She might've thought the dog represented her, or maybe her family if it wasn't black. Most of her family that she knew were all blonde.

Before she left the library, she walked up to the older woman behind a large desk. From what Selene knew about her, she was a very unpleasant woman. Her skin was the color of parchment and she was nearly as thin as a skeleton. Her nose was long and hooked. She looked up at Selene, her face expressionless.

"May I help you?"

"I was just wondering if there were any books to decipher dreams. I couldn't find any."

"Only one, however I'm afraid there's a waiting list. It will be about a week before you can check it out."

Selene grimaced. "Alright. Thank you."

Madam Pince made a sound of acknowledgement and went back to her work. Leaving the library, Selene tried her best to clear her mind. There was no sense in worrying about a dream. It was probably meaningless anyway. Maybe Selene just wanted a dog. Her family didn't have any pets, other than the few owls they used to send letters, and though Selene liked them she didn't really think of them as pets. They came and went, always sending letter after letter. She rarely saw them.

"Hey, Lily. James, Remus," she nodded to them in greeting as she sat down beside Lily. "Sirius."

He ignored her, still talking to Peter.

"We'll be out in the field today practicing." James said to Selene. "You should come watch. Maybe get some painting done too." He winked conspiratorially.

Selene laughed. "I'll make sure to bring my supplies."

"Excellent!" James said happily, punching the air. "Are you any good at flying? Maybe you could come out with us. Throw the quaffle around a bit."

"No, no, no! I'm not getting on one of those flying death traps. You couldn't pay me enough." Selene shook her head emphatically. "Absolutely not!"

"You probably never had a proper instructor. I can teach you."

"No, thank you. I'd like to keep my feet firmly on the ground. I had plenty of teachers, I'm just afraid of heights." Selene explained. "I start panicking before I'm hardly off the ground."

"I've seen you in the stands during games." Sirius said, finally addressing her. "That doesn't seem to bother you."

"It's structurally sound." She snapped, her eyes narrowing. "I can sit, I can stand, I can walk about if I please. On a broom, I'm in the air, feet dangling."

"You're still technically in the air. Who knows if the stands could collapse? They're probably hundreds of years old by now."

"Stop trying to scare her, Sirius." Lily glared at him. James laughed, shoving his friend playfully in an attempt to lighten to situation.

"Really, Sirius, I want that painting. If she doesn't get up there, she won't have a proper view of me."

Selene rolled her eyes and rose from the bench. "He isn't scaring me. He's just being an arse."

"Wait, where are you going?"

Selene almost felt bad as she looked down at Lily's confused expression.

"I'm going to go find Fiona. I need to ask her something."

"Who's—"

Before Lily could finish her question, Selene had already turned and left the Great Hall. She felt bad for lying, but she couldn't stand sitting there while Sirius belittled her. So what if she was afraid of heights? It was a common fear. It was like he was trying to invalidate her. Of course the stands were high up! So were a lot of the rooms their classes were in. That didn't bother her. What bothered her was the fact that some sort of ground wasn't solidly beneath her feet.

After retrieving her supplies from her trunk in her dorm, she wandered off towards the Slytherin common room, ignoring the weird looks she received from the passing students. What Hufflepuff in their right mind would walk in this direction?

"Selene?"

She smiled when she saw Regulus, offering him a brief hug before taking two steps back.

"Would you like to come out to the Quidditch field with me today? James wants me to paint him while he's practicing."

He didn't look like the idea pleased him. "Who will be there?"

"Lily, Remus, and Peter."

"Who else?"

Selene looked down at her feet. "You don't need to worry about Sirius. He doesn't talk to me anyway. We can sit away from them if you like."

He looked confused. "They're your friends."

"You're my friend, too."

Regulus grinned. "Well, you make a convincing argument. When should I be there?"

"Directly after breakfast. I already ate, so I'm probably going to head there by myself before anyone else."

"Walk with me then. I'll grab some food to go and I'll sit with you."

"Oh, Regulus, you don't have to—"

He held up his hand to stop her. "I want to."

"Okay."

She smiled to herself, walking along beside Regulus, listening to him talk about his classes. A small part of her knew seeing her with Regulus would piss Sirius off. Maybe that was her goal. Regardless, she also sort of wanted to spend time with him. Without the meddling of their families, Regulus was nice and actually kind of funny. He was slowly becoming a good friend, though she didn't know what to think of that. Would he ever be more? Could he?

She watched as he gathered his food on a plate he transfigured from a cloth in his pocket.

"Do you want anything?" He asked, glancing at her.

"No, thank you. I told you I already ate."

"You need to eat more." He laughed. "You'll disappear soon."

"Very funny." She rolled her eyes though she was laughing. "I eat a lot, thank you very much."

"I've seen you eat." He retorted as he finished gathering, gesturing for her to go. "And you don't eat a lot. You just make it look like you do."

She shrugged. "I have a small appetite. At home I have a stash of snacks. I guess it's a habit I started. I don't like eating with my family."

"We have that in common." He said before taking a bite of the sandwich he'd made from his toast, eggs, and bacon. "It's always quiet, or someone is arguing, or it's all business. It gets tiresome."

"My mother always has something rude to say to me about something or other, so I avoid mealtime as much as possible without getting in trouble."

"You never told me why it is exactly that she's so horrible to you. You do everything your parents tell you."

As they walked outside, Selene hugged her arms. The sun had yet to defrost the early morning chill.

"I'm not what she wanted. I'm too nice towards the people and creatures I shouldn't be. She called me a blood traitor once for healing the house elf after she had beaten him."

He shook his head. "Maybe you should just ignore them. It would keep you out of trouble, and maybe your mother would be less harsh on you."

She frowned at him. "Would you help a muggle if you saw one? If they were hurt and needed your help?"

He hesitated. "Probably not."

"Regulus—"

"I know what you're going to say." He interrupted her, turning to face her when they'd reached the steps to walk up to the top of the stands. "But listen, Selene. You need to face facts, alright? We're not the same as everyone else. We're held to a different standard. We're better than muggles and half bloods and muggleborns. We were born better. You're friend. What's her name again?"

"Lily."

"Right, Lily. She's a muggleborn. I heard she has a muggle sister. Why didn't she inherit the magic Lily has? She doesn't deserve it."

"What about Lily? She inherited it." Selene was beginning to feel like inviting Regulus was a bad idea. "She's smarter than me and you!"

He grimaced. "I sincerely doubt that."

With an angry huff, Selene stormed off, running up the steps ahead of him. How could he say things like that? It didn't make any sense to her. Why was the purity of someone's blood so important? Selene didn't pretend to know what made a muggle inherit magic. If their ancestors were magical, then why did it skip generations? Could it be a selective process? And if that were the case, then what made Lily deserving of magical ability and not her sister?

She shook her head. Regulus's words were nonsense. She'd never believed it growing up, and she wouldn't start believing it now.

"Selene!" Regulus caught up to her, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around. He looked upset. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to insult your friend."

"I don't understand you." She shook her head. He was being genuine, she knew that, but his frame of mind wasn't in the right place. "What if you were to fall in love with a muggle? Or a half blood? Despite the scarce odds, Regulus, what if it happened?"

He scoffed. "That's never going to—"

"WHAT IF?" She shouted, breathing hard. She was fuming now. "Think about it!"

He frowned. "It wouldn't happen. I don't need to think about it."

She rubbed her eyes, giving up. "Just come on. I need to set up."

Regulus followed Selene in silence, watching as she pulled an easel and all of her painting supplies from the little bag on her shoulder. She propped the canvas on the stand and stared at it for a moment, just thinking. No, he didn't understand. But maybe she could make him.

"Will you meet her? Lily, I mean. Would you be willing to be introduced?"

"I don't know, Selene. I should just stay over here with you." He said quietly. She watched him poke at his food, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up at her abruptly, shocked. "For what?"

She shrugged. "For yelling at you. I know you don't think the way that I do. I shouldn't force it on you."

He shook his head. "You're impossible."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He smiled at her. "It means that you don't need to apologize. I angered you by bringing up the subject and trying to force my own beliefs on you. I should be the one apologizing. I won't..." he paused, considering his words, "apologize for trying to convince you to see things like me. But I will for upsetting you. That wasn't my intent."

"Shut up." She pushed him lightly. "We're done apologizing, okay? It's making me sick."


	8. Chapter Eight

Selene leaned close to Regulus. "If you want to leave you can."

He shook his head, glancing nervously at James Potter and his group of friends walking closer to them. Selene sat back, feeling a little concerned. She shouldn't have asked him to come out here with her. It wouldn't surprise her if Sirius started something, especially after what she had said to him on the train.

"Lena, you could've told me you were bringing along someone else. I brought snacks, but I don't know if there will be enough for everyone now." Lily complained, though she was smiling as the group stopped before the pair of them.

"I'm sorry. It was a spur of the moment decision. He just ate anyway, so it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"I was only joking." She chuckled. She turned to Regulus. "I'm Lily Evans. We've never been formally introduced."

"I'm Regulus."

"Oh, Sirius's—"

James put a hand on her shoulder, making her turn around, a questioning expression on her face. He merely shook his head. Behind them, Sirius's expression was bleak, his eyes centered on Selene, and ironically not his brother. His grey eyes were dark like storm clouds. It made her heart squeeze painfully in her chest.

"Right, well. We'll sit over there, Lena. If you need anything, or if you two get lonely by yourselves, join us alright?"

"Sure thing. Thanks, Lily."

They watched the group walk away, further into the stands. Selene noticed that Lily couldn't stop looking at them, though where Sirius had been staring before, he was entirely focused on the empty field.

"She calls you Lena?"

Selene smiled. "Yeah, she wanted to find a nickname for me since the rest of the group had one. I don't know them all, none of them would tell me, but she came up with Lena and it stuck. She's the only one who calls me that though."

"Sirius would call me Reg sometimes." Regulus muttered, looking down at his hands. Though his hair hid most of his face, she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was angry.

"Don't think about it. We're here to paint." Selene reached into her bag again and pulled out a second easel and canvas, setting it up in front of Regulus. He stared at it, dumbfounded.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Paint, silly." Selene set up the paints and brushes in the space between them on the bench. "It doesn't have to be anything specific. Paint whatever comes to your mind."

"Selene, I don't really want to paint."

"Come on. It's fun and relaxing. Do you want to know what my favorite thing about art is?" He looked at her inquisitively. "There are no right or wrong answers. Everyone's opinion is subjective. The only one who will ever know what you wanted on that canvas will be you."

Regulus turned to the blank canvas, staring at it for a while. He glanced at her. "Whatever I want?"

" _Whatever you want_."

Selene watched him with a small smile as he picked up a paintbrush, staring at it as though he'd never seen one before. He dipped it in one of the jars of paint she'd opened and turned back to the canvas, pursing his lips. She laughed quietly to herself and peered around her own canvas, watching James down below with his teammates who had just arrived, waiting for him to start flying. She just needed him in the air to begin.

She glanced over her shoulder at her group of friends, casting her eyes away quickly when they met Sirius's angry gaze. If he had something to say, he should just come over here and say it. He had no business being angry about something he'd caused. Did the two brothers hate each other over the rift in their family that Sirius had caused? Or was Sirius merely upset that Selene had the freedom to talk to his brother and he did not? There was nothing keeping him from coming over here other than his own pride.

"What do you think about Sirius?"

"I think he's a git." Selene answered in a dull tone. "He's arrogant and unnecessarily rude."

Regulus laughed. "That's my entire family."

"I don't hate him." She sighed, glancing at Regulus. "If that's what you mean. But he seems to hate me a lot."

"Why?"

"Because I won't do what he did." She shrugged, dragging her paintbrush across her canvas, her eyes flicking back and forth between it and James soaring through the air. "No matter what issues I have with my family, I refuse to abandon them. I may be an only child, but my father needs me."

"Your father seems much more agreeable than your mother." Regulus commented, ceasing his own painting to watch Selene expertly create hers. He was amazed by her attention to detail when her subject was in motion.

"I didn't think so. Not while I was growing up. He was always behind her, silently watching her cruelty. Before I met you, he had a talk with me about how he really felt. Or that's what I assume." Her hand paused, the paintbrush she was holding still pressed to the canvas. "I don't know anything about him. But I believe he actually cares about me. I can't leave him with her."

Regulus nodded. "You may not agree with me on a lot of things, but you're loyal to your family. I respect that about you."

She smiled and turned to face him. "No, I'm not loyal to my family. I'm loyal to the people I love."

He frowned. "But don't you love your family?"

She shrugged, resuming her painting. That was a very good question. Most of her family still lived in France, and she hadn't seen them since she was a little girl. Her only family was her mother and father. So if she had to answer him, her answer would still be no. What did that make her? Selene glanced at Sirius again. He was talking to Remus, gesturing emphatically and laughing loudly every so often. She could hear him from here.

"Have you tried talking to Sirius since he left?"

"No." Regulus's expression turned dark, and he followed her gaze, still locked on his brother. "Mother forbade it."

"Do you still consider him family?"

"Asking all the difficult questions today, aren't we?" He tried to smile, but she saw right through it. Regulus was upset. He had a right to be. The brothers must have been close at one point. No doubt Regulus felt betrayed. What did Sirius feel?

Selene leaned close to him, looking at his painting. "Is that a house elf?"

He laughed. "I'm surprised you could tell! It is, actually. It's supposed to be my family's house elf. Kreacher."

"Do you treat him well?"

"He's part of the family to me, I guess you could say. He believes all the things my family believes. He's a funny little bloke."

Selene smiled. "There's hope for you after all."

He laughed, turning to look at his painting, as though he were actually admiring it. She wondered what he was like when he was alone at home, with no watching eyes and listening ears. He never stopped surprising her.

A few hours went by, with Selene and Regulus painting together on the same canvas once they'd finished the ones they'd started. Mostly she was teaching him how to blend colors, and mostly he watched her in amazement, occasionally trying to copy what she did. He got good at it quickly, and Selene had to admit she was impressed with how quickly he learned.

"I think you can keep this." Selene said finally, glancing at Regulus. "If you ever get upset about anything, you can look and this remember a happy moment."

He smiled, shaking his head though he picked up the canvas, staring at all the colors smeared across the surface.

"Thank you." He propped it against the bench gently and grinned at her. "I'll hang it in my room above my bed."

"You don't have to do that." She laughed, pushing herself to her feet, stretching her arms high above her head. "I'm going to go give this to James. You can come with me if you want."

"I think I'll wait for you here." He said lamely.

She shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Selene picked up the painting of James and made her way over to her friends. Remus, Peter, and Sirius had formed a small circle and were talking quietly to each other, leaving Lily on a lower bench, reading to herself.

"Hey, is James back yet?"

"No, but he should be soon." Lily responded, sitting up and closing her book. Her eyes lit up when she saw the canvas. "Oh, let me see!"

Selene grinned and handed it over, holding her hands behind her back as she waited for Lily's approval.

"Lena, I love it! James is going to love it too, I know it." She jumped up from her seat and hugged Selene hard. "Thank you for taking the time to humor him. I know this must've been difficult."

"Not at all." Selene smiled. "I enjoyed the challenge."

"Oi, Selene! You're done already?"

James ran up the steps and over to them, practically snatching the canvas from Lily's grasp.

"Bloody hell, Selene, this is amazing! Where did you learn to paint like this?"

She shrugged. "I had a lot of teachers, and it was just something I really loved, so I was determined to be the best I could be. I'm still learning."

James and Lily looked at her with disbelief.

"She's going to be famous." James said in a very matter-of-fact of tone. "This is as good as photography!"

Selene blushed. "Well I'm going to go, okay? Regulus and I were going to eat lunch together."

James pulled Selene in for a quick hug. "Thanks again for this, Selene. I couldn't have asked for anything better than this."

"It was no problem, really." Selene turned to leave. "Just pay me next time!"


	9. Chapter Nine

**A/N: sorry for the little hiatus on this chapter. Work has sort of sucked and I have just been so tired. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Things are going to start getting a little more interesting now. Tis the beginning!!—**

"Everyone is staring at us."

"So?" Selene shrugged, picking at her food. She glanced at Regulus, who was looking around the Slytherin table. Before she had been concerned about what rumors could start and circulate about them. But she was beginning to care less and less. They didn't know the truth of their situation, and because of that they couldn't guess correctly. She knew they wouldn't.

"I thought it bothered you."

"It used to, but it doesn't matter. They can stare and talk all they want to." She smiled, taking a little bite of her sandwich. "Besides, the only reason they're staring is because I'm not in your House. If I were a Slytherin they wouldn't care."

Still looking skeptical, he nodded, sitting up a little straighter. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, he was interrupted by an owl landing directly in front of Selene, knocking his cup over with it's wings.

"Damn it!" He scrambled to clean up the mess, mopping up the spilled juice with a handful of napkins. "Stupid bird."

"Hey, watch who you're calling stupid." Selene stroked the owl's feathers, removing the letter from it's beak. "Her name is Tipsy. She's mine."

"She's still a stupid bird." Regulus muttered with a little smirk. "What's that for? We already got our mail this morning."

Selene shrugged, ripping open the envelope. When she saw the elegant script in rich, violet ink she groaned internally. A letter from her parents.

"Read it. It's not going to kill you."

Selene raised an eyebrow at him, then turned to her letter, unfolding the parchment carefully, but jumped in surprise anyway when her father's voice began speaking.

"Happy Birthday, Selene! I hope your schooling is going well so far, and that you are staying active in your studies. Please don't neglect to write home." There was a brief pause before his voice spoke again, seemingly quieter. "I have a present for you when you visit for the holidays. I will see you then."

When the message was finished playing, the letter crumbled itself into a little ball and vanished in a puff of smoke. Selene sighed, rubbing her eyes. The one time her parents write to her and they announce her birthday to everyone within earshot.

"I didn't know today was your birthday. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Birthdays are stupid." Selene shrugged, pushing her plate away from herself, her appetite gone. "Nothing important happens. Besides, I'm only turning fifteen. It's nothing to get excited about."

"I have to think of something to get you." Regulus said, looking thoughtful. "What do you like?"

"Do not get me anything, Regulus." She said in a stern voice. "What I'd like is for you to forget that you learned that today is my birthday."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm very serious. I really don't want anything." She insisted, straddling the bench to face him. "My family doesn't really do the whole celebration thing. At first I was jealous of other kids that had amazing, lavish birthday parties. Now I kind of like it. I don't like being the center of attention."

"And you even turn down gifts?" He asked incredulously. "I could literally buy you anything you want."

"I can literally buy me anything I want. Stuff isn't important to me."

He nodded. "No parties?"

"Absolutely not!" She snapped, a little too loudly. She caught a few glares from the Slytherins around her. Trying to ignore them, she spoke quieter this time. "Don't even think about it, Regulus. I'm warning you. I'll never forgive you."

"Oh no, don't worry about that. I hate parties." He smiled, though Selene didn't like the look in his eyes. He looked like a kid about to get into something he knew he shouldn't.

"Swear you won't tell anyone."

"Come on, Selene! At least your friends should know."

"Especially not them!" She shook her head vehemently, already imagining how horrible it would be. They wouldn't leave her alone. "They would definitely throw a party. And there would be more gifts than I would be comfortable accepting. Please, I'm begging you. Don't tell anyone."

Regulus grimaced. "You have my word."

 **— Later that day —**

"Hey, wake up! You have company!"

Selene sat up, her expression tired and irritated. After having lunch with Regulus, she'd ventured back to her dorm to take a nap, mostly out of the desire to avoid Regulus. Since he knew about her birthday now, she didn't want him trying to do anything for her. She she had opted to spend the rest of her day unconscious. She yawned loudly and stood, stretching onto her tiptoes and raising her hands high above her head.

"Who's here?" She muttered through her hands, rubbing her face.

"Your Gryffindor friends." Fiona said with a shrug. "They said get dressed and meet them outside."

Selene groaned. She was going to kill Regulus if this had something to do with her birthday.

"Alright. Tell them I'll be out in a few minutes."

Fiona left their room and Selene sighed heavily, pulling a grey hoodie over her head before yanking her hair back into a high bun. She pulled on the cuffs of her black leggings, having risen up to mid-calf while she had been sleeping. She pulled on a pair black flats. Warm, comfortable, and satisfied with her appearance, she walked out of her dorm, through the common area, and made her way outside—where she was subsequently attacked.

She tried to scream but there was a hand over her mouth before she could make a sound.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you. Much."

"Sirius!" Selene fought harder, though he let her go happily, doubling over in fits of laughter. "I hate you!"

"You should have seen your face!" He laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. He took deep breaths, trying to regain his composure. "Anyway you're probably wondering why I'm here."

"You might be correct." Selene crossed her arms, watching him cautiously.

He chuckled. "James sent me to bring you to a certain location. He has a surprise for you. Kind of... a thank you for that portrait you did."

"Oh." Selene's anger deflated instantly. "Oh... well, I mean—"

"Great! But you have to wear this blindfold."

"What? Why!"

Sirius shrugged.

"Am I allowed to say no?"

"Not really. James would be very insulted."

Selene rolled her eyes. "I guess I really don't have a choice then."

She stepped forward and allowed Sirius to tie the black band around her head, extending her arm for him to take and lead her to wherever it was that they were going.

"I'm surprised it was you and not Lily." Selene said as they walked. Sirius had a good hold on her arm, though she gripped his wrist tighter than necessary, uncomfortable with her temporary blindness. She felt Sirius shrug.

"It was an opportunity to scare you. I couldn't pass that up."

"That makes perfect sense." She hesitated, allowing the silence to drag on until she couldn't help but ask. "I thought you hated me."

He sighed. "I don't hate you. You just piss me off. It doesn't really matter anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm not stupid, Selene."

"What—"

"SURPRISE!"

Sirius yanked off her blindfold and pushed her lightly, further into the room. Selene looked around in awe, though she could feel her anger beginning to boil. Everywhere there were streamers and banners, confetti on the floor, and a small cake in the center of the room, smothered in candles, sitting in the middle of a table surrounded by her friends.

"I hate all of you. How did you find out?"

"Guilty." Sirius said, raising his hand. "I was eavesdropping on your conversation with Regulus this afternoon."

Selene whirled around to face him. "How in the world did you manage that?"

He grinned, pretending to zip his lips shut. She groaned and faced her friends again, and though they were still smiling at her, there was guilt in their eyes.

"Sirius told us everything you said about your birthday. So we decided a small get together was in order." James explained, rising from the table to greet her. He pulled her in for a hug. When he released her, Lily was right behind him with a grin on her face.

"Don't worry. We also decided that since you don't like gifts, we only bought one." Lily passed a small box to Selene, beautifully wrapped in her House colors, topped with a shimmering golden bow.

Selene grimaced. "I'm not unappreciative. I just wish you wouldn't have done this. But thank you, really."

"Go ahead and open it." Remus said quietly as he walked towards them. She gingerly pulled on the bow and tore open the packaging. She opened the little white box to reveal a small, silver charm bracelet. There was a dog, a stag, a wolf, a lily, a rat, and a bird. Selene couldn't help but smile, looking up at everyone.

"I love it." She hugged them all, hesitating when she stood before Sirius, but hugged him briefly before taking a few steps back.

"I'll help you." Sirius offered, clearing his throat as he moved to stand in front of her. He took the bracelet from her and clasped it around her left wrist, examining it for a moment before stepping back.

"The bracelet was Lily's idea." James explained. "We didn't really know what you would like, but the charms represent each of us. You're the bird, if that wasn't obvious."

Selene laughed, wiping her eyes. She didn't know why she felt like she wanted to cry.

"Thank you." She looked at the bracelet, twisting it around to get a good look at all the charms. The dog and wolf charms looked almost exactly alike, except that it looked like the dog charm was a slightly darker shade of silver, and maybe a little smaller than the wolf charm.

"I think it's time for some fun." Lily clapped her hands together. "We can cut the cake after we celebrate. If that's alright with you, Lena."

"Just as long as you don't sing, anything is fine with me." Selene said, walking over to a nearby table and jumping up to sit. It looked like they had found an old unused classroom and shoved all the desks aside. "What did you have in mind?"

"First of all." Sirius spoke before anyone could answer her. He walked over towards a black leather burlap bag, pulling out what appeared to be a medium sized wooden briefcase. "Have you ever listened to muggle music?"

Selene shook her head, mesmerized as she watched Sirius set up his contraption. What had appeared as a briefcase now opened up to reveal a lot of buttons and dials, a rather large black disc that Sirius had placed there, and a needle that just barely touched the surface of the disc.

"What is it?"

"It's called a record player. It plays music. This is one of my favorites. They're called Led Zeppelin. I have a few records."

"I like it." Selene nodded along to the music, kicking her legs back and forth. "How do you get this stuff?"

"I have muggle money that I had converted. I like going looking around their shops. Some of them have a bunch of old used things. I actually bought a motorcycle. I'm learning how to fix it."

"Amazing." Selene breathed. "I've always wanted to see muggle vehicles up close. But my parents won't allow me to go anywhere alone."

"Hm." Sirius snorted, shaking his head. "Anyway, I have a little something else."

He winked in James's direction with a sly grin and jumped up, leaving his record player next to Selene and rummaging through his bag again. This time he pulled out a very large glass bottle, with dark brown liquid sloshing around inside.

"I can't believe you managed to smuggle all of this stuff inside the school."

"I have my secret ways." Sirius smirked at Selene. "Freedom has it's advantages."

Selene rolled her eyes and held out her hand, examining the bottle when Sirius handed it to her. It was a brand of alcohol she'd never seen before. She was sure it was muggle-made.

"Can I try it?" She asked. Selene had been a little tipsy before, one time during a party her parents had hosted for some business her father had a couple years ago. When they left her unattended, she had snuck into the kitchen and gulped down a cup of firewhiskey someone had forgotten. She was never caught.

"We're all going to have some." Sirius said, conjuring cups and filling them halfway with the drink. "Be careful. It burns a lot going down if you're not used to it."

Sirius passed Selene a cup, handing out the rest, then it seemed as though everyone turned to watch her. She shifted uncomfortable, crossing her ankles.

"Why are you all staring at me?"

"Birthday girl goes first." James grinned, raising his cup. Everyone else mimicked him. Selene rolled her eyes and took a tentative sip, immediately scrunching up her face in disgust.

"I hate it." She shook her head and set down the cup. "I can't drink that."

Sirius smirked. "Yeah you can. And you will! That's the rules tonight."

"It's my birthday, so if I say—"

"Nope." Sirius leaned against a nearby table, propping himself up on his elbow. "It doesn't work that way. It's just us in this room, so we're all gonna get drunk and have a great time. Especially you."

"Why?"

Their eyes locked. Selene searched his face, trying to read him in some way, but his expression was passive, betraying nothing. Since the beginning of the year, Sirius had done nothing but be rude to her, ignore her, and make fun of her. And nothing had changed from the years before, only his intensity. She couldn't tell how much he disliked her anymore. It was just intense. So what was this act he was displaying for her now? When would he drop it and go back to hating her?

"There's no rules here." He said simply, shrugging his shoulder. "No one to tell you what you can and can't do."

"Except you're telling me what to do."

"No one can tell you what to do..." he repeated, standing up straight, that smug smirk plastered back onto his face. "Except me."


	10. Chapter Ten

Selene hiccuped, covering her mouth as she erupted into a fit of giggling. She sat cross-legged on the floor with her group of friends in a circle. She reached for her cup to take another sip, but frowned when she peered into it, seeing that it was empty.

"Sirius?"

"Maybe you don't need anymore." Lily slurred, smiling. "You can hardly sit up straight."

"Neither can you." Selene giggled, leaning back on her hands and tilting her head to stare at the ceiling. How much had she drank already? Maybe four cups now. She felt heavy and fuzzy, and very warm. She felt as though her body had been stuffed with cotton balls. She blinked a few times and sat up straight again, handing her cup to Sirius.

"One more, then'm done."

He poured more rum into her cup and handed it to her, watching her take another drink. Her nose scrunched up in disgust, though she took another sip before speaking.

"Who's next?"

"I believe it's your turn, Remus." Sirius uncrossed his legs, stretching them out in front of them with a heavy sigh.

"Truth or dare, Selene?"

"Uh... truth."

"Come on, Pelletier, you've been picking truth since the game started." Sirius complained. "Stop being a scaredy-cat."

"Not yet. I'm saving my dare."

"You can pick dare more than once." Lily said, swaying a little. James steadied her with a hand on her shoulder. She smiled at him, her cheeks flushed.

Selene shrugged. "I'm saving my dare."

Everyone turned to look at Remus.

"Uh..." he grimaced and rubbed his eyes, staring at the empty cup in his hands. "Bloody hell, I can't think. Biggest fear?"

"Being alone." She hiccuped. "But like, not by myself. I mean like being in a room full of people but feeling like none of them are there for you. That kind of loneliness."

"That's deep." James said quietly, looking a little tired. "I think about that sometimes."

"I did too, until I ran away from home and was basically adopted as a pet by my friends." Sirius said with a silly grin, tipping his cup in James's direction. "Now it's Lily's turn."

"So soon?" She jumped, having clearly been daydreaming. "I pick Selene again. C'mon, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Sirius groaned irritably, falling back against the floor. "Again!"

Selene ignored him. "Ask away, Lily."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

There was a collective groan from all of the guys. Sirius sat up, looking between Lily and Selene with disbelief.

"Is this a sleepover or an edgy game of truth or dare?" He griped, crossing his arms.

"Shut up, Sirius, I wanna know." Lily snapped. She smiled at Selene. "What about you and Regulus? You two look pretty close."

Selene choked on her drink, coughing and spitting, her throat bathed in flames. She shook her head vehemently, looking both disgusted and in pain.

"No!" She rasped, trying to clear her throat. "No, no, no, absolutely not! Regulus and I are just good friends. There's nothing between us. And I've never had a boyfriend. Or even kissed anyone if you were wondering."

"I forget you're only fourteen." James commented. "Still innocent."

Selene raised an eyebrow. "Fifteen."

"Oh, right." He chuckled. "I forgot this was your birthday party."

"And we're not much older." Remus chimed in, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "You only just turned sixteen this summer, Sirius."

Sirius rolled his eyes like that were a trivial fact. "Alright, well the confessionary is over. It's time for some dares. My turn. Selene?"

She glanced at him. "Are you telling me or asking me?"

"I'm asking first. But my answer depends on yours." He smirked. "But the result stays the same."

Selene grimaced. "Dare."

"Finally!" Sirius leapt to his feet, with more agility than she thought were possible in their current state, and held out his hand to help her up. "We're gonna go steal something."

Selene pulled her hand back before he could take it. "I'm not stealing anything."

They glared at each other for a moment. "Fine then. I dare you to be my lookout. Come on!"

"We're going to get in trouble!" Selene complained, stumbling after Sirius as he hauled her in the direction of the door. "I'm not a very good lookout! And it's so late now, we're not even supposed to be up. What if Filch catches us? I can't get detention!"

Sirius whirled around, clapping his hands down on her shoulders. "Live a little."

"Maybe we should just stay here a little longer, then go back to our dorms." Selene said weakly, her vision blurring with tears. "I don't—"

"I'll come too." James grunted, pushing himself up from the ground. "I'll stay with Selene while you do whatever."

"Wait, James, you shouldn't go. You're piss drunk." Lily said, grabbing his arm. "None if you should go."

"I can handle it."

"Whatever keeps her from having a panic attack while I'm in the Potions storeroom." Sirius waved over his shoulder, moving towards the door again.

James walked up to Selene, looping his arm through hers. He gave her a warm smile, though his eyes weren't entirely focused. He was as drunk as she was. Selene didn't feel any better about what she was being made to do, but she steeled her resolve and allowed James to lead her out, the two of them trailing behind Sirius at a much slower pace.

"He didn't drink, did he?" Selene whispered, tightening her grip on James's arm. Neither of them were very coordinated.

"I thought he did." James said lamely, rubbing his neck with his free hand. "But he does seem pretty normal right now, huh?"

Selene grimaced. "I don't like this."

"You get used to it." James shrugged. "We actually do this a lot. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Did you know about this?"

He shook his head. "I had no idea."

"What does he want from the storeroom? Is he planning on making some sort of potion?"

He shrugged again, though we remained silent this time. Selene felt the need to start crying again. If they were caught, they would be in loads of trouble. She would definitely get detention, and if that happened, her mother would find out. What would happen if she were to go home? Selene stayed out of trouble for this very reason. She kept her head down and she stayed quiet. Her friends were not that sort of type. They were going to get her in trouble.

"James, I can't do this." She whispered, breathing hard. "Please take me back."

"I'm sorry, Selene." James whispered back, peering around the corner. When he saw there was no one, he gestured for Sirius to go ahead. They stayed where they were, watching and listening for anyone.

Selene slid to the floor, burying her face in her hands. What had started out as a good night had turned into a disaster.

"I can't leave him. You understand that?" James asked, crouching beside her. She peeked through her fingers. He didn't look mad at her for being such a baby. He just look sympathetic. Maybe he could understand her situation. Then again, maybe he only could guess at what she went through only from hearing about Sirius's family.

"I understand. But I don't have to stay." Her voice shook as she wiped her eyes. "What if we get caught?"

"We won't." James reassured her, using the wall to push himself back to his feet. He swayed a little. "We're pros."

Selene didn't look or feel reassured. She looked around, slowly getting to her feet. She could vaguely hear the sound of Sirius rummaging around in the storeroom, as well as her heart beating in her ears. James was drunk, but he was definitely alert, keeping an eye on his best friend.

Selene didn't like that they were stealing. Well, she wasn't the one stealing, but she was helping them. That made her party to the crime. Her parents would kill her if they found out.

"Alright. I think I've got everything." Sirius said, slightly out of breath as he ran up to them. "But we should probably go. I made a lot of noise."

"Way ahead of you." Selene muttered, grabbing James and pulling him along. She heard Sirius laugh quietly and it pissed her off. This whole thing was his fault. If he hadn't have been so nosy, she would be fast asleep right now, warm and comfortable in her bed—far, far away from tonight's drama.

"So what were you getting anyway?" James asked, slowing down to walk next to Sirius.

"Oh, uh, just a few things."

Selene rolled her eyes. Of course it was a secret. That was the only proof she needed. Sirius had only used her birthday as a means to get what he wanted. Of course, James said that they did that sort of thing all the time, so why hadn't he done this sooner? Why had he waited until now? And why had he dragged her along?

"I'm going to call it a night." Selene said suddenly, turning to face the two of them. "I'm gonna go. Tell Lily I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly. And thanks for everything."

"I'll take you back—"

"I'll do it." Sirius interrupted him. "You guys go back. I need to say a few things anyway."

"Alright." James said, though the expression on his face confused her. "I'll see you later, mate."

"Right." They watched James walk away, though it wasn't until he was gone that Sirius cast his eyes to her, gesturing for them to keep going.

They walked in silence for a while. At some point Selene had reluctantly accepted his arm once more to keep her from falling. It felt as though the floor would suddenly rise and fall, though she knew it remained flat beneath her feet. Her fingertips tingled, cool against Sirius's warmth. The castle got very chilly at night, and despite her jacket she could still somehow feel the cold to her bones.

"I'm sorry to have put you through that." Sirius finally said as they approached the Hufflepuff commons.

"Apology accepted." She said quietly. "I just don't understand. Why did you steal in the first place? You could still get in trouble."

"I won't. Slughorn is thick-headed. He never figures it out." He cleared his throat. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About my brother?"

Selene tried to remember. "Well yeah. He's just my friend. I told you before."

"Right." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Right, well, I'll leave you alone for now. Sorry again."

"Wait!"

He turned around, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Why do you care? Even if there was something there, which there isn't, why would you care?"

"My brother doesn't deserve you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's not like you. And you're nothing like him." He said simply. "Goodnight, Selene."


	11. Chapter Eleven

It had been nearly a month since her little birthday party her friends had thrown for her, and Sirius hadn't spoken to her or even so much as looked in her direction. It didn't make any sense to her, because in her mind, she had thought he had stopped hating her a little that night. She had hoped somewhere deep down that he would have started liking her a little more.

The initial hurt she had felt the next morning had been like a slap to the face. One moment he was being kind and actually talking to her, the next he was ignoring her, leaving the table when she sat down... for a while she held on to the hurt, but now she was just angry. What in the hell had she done to deserve this treatment from him?

First it was her loyalty to her family. Then it seemed as though he hated her for her connection to his brother. And now for what? She had stayed at his stupid party, listened to his stupid music, drank his stupid alcohol, and helped him steal his stupid secret ingredients for whatever concoction he was planning on brewing. Had that not shown him enough?

Selene didn't feel like a coward. She just had a healthy respect for the rules and cared little for having to deal with the consequences for breaking them. Maybe she was a little scared, if only of her mother, but it still wasn't like her to be a part of what Sirius did. Or maybe it had just been so overwhelming because she had been drunk. She didn't honestly know. It still wasn't fair for him to treat her this way. For being afraid?

"Hey, did you hear what happened?"

Selene looked up from her half eaten breakfast at Fiona, who looked particularly shaken. Her big brown eyes looked afraid.

"No, I haven't. Why do you look like that?"

Fiona rubbed her face. "Three students dropped out today. Muggle-borns who are scared to be away from their families right now."

"Oh." Selene didn't know what to say. She didn't exactly know what was happening in the muggle world. She'd been hearing really bad things had been happening more and more over the past few years, but her family had shielded her from most of it, aside from their own opinions.

"You're not planning on leaving, are you?" Selene asked, feeling a little worried. Since Sirius had been ignoring her, she had little by little been avoiding her Gryffindor friends and hanging out more with Fiona and Regulus. She knew Fiona had a muggle mother, and she felt some worry that she would leave.

"Oh no, don't worry about me." Fiona smiled weakly. She still looked pale. "I'm staying to finish my schooling, if I can. I don't want to go out there only knowing what I know now. It's not enough."

"It's that bad isn't it?" Selene felt stupid. As a pureblood she really hadn't felt the effects of the chaos that had begun. It hadn't been on her mind. She didn't read the Daily Prophet. No one close to her had really spoken about it. The closest she got to hearing about it was Regulus, but he only spoke about ideologies. Even he wasn't in the inner circles that were beginning to form among their families.

"Must be nice to not have to worry about you or your family's safety." Fiona sighed. Then she jumped, looking over at Selene with big eyes. "Oh no! I hope I didn't offend you. I only meant because you're not related to muggles or anything."

Selene gave her a half-hearted smile. "It's alright. I knew what you meant. I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"I'm sorry for all of us." Fiona muttered, rubbing her palms against her skirt. "It's going to get really bad. I feel it."

"That's sort of morbid, don't you think?" Selene laughed weakly. "The Ministry will handle it. We shouldn't worry so much."

Fiona shrugged and ate her breakfast in silence, leaving Selene to her thoughts. She felt bad for Fiona. She was sure that despite her bravado, she wanted to go home to keep her family safe. Selene felt a little worse realizing she knew she didn't feel the same way. Her family didn't need protecting. They were as safe as they could be.

Selene stood abruptly, gathering her things and leaving her friend without a word, rushing towards the Slytherin table, plopping herself down beside Regulus, who jumped in surprise at her sudden appearance, though smiled nonetheless.

"What brings you over here in such a hurry?"

"Fiona told me students are dropping out." Selene said, setting her bag beside her on the bench. "I don't know much about what's going on."

"And you thought I might." Regulus grimaced, pushing away his plate. He took a sip of his pumpkin juice before facing her. "I don't know much either."

Selene frowned. "I just thought... with your family and all..."

"They keep me out of the loop as much as they keep you out of it, Selene." He said, looking away from her. "I don't like it either."

"Oh, okay." Selene looked down at her hands. "Um... have you spoken to your cousins recently? About what's going on?"

"Not since I left for school. Bellatrix and Narcissa aren't necessarily conversational, and don't care much for sending owls to inform a child." Regulus said, sounding only slightly bitter. "We're safe anyway. Why does it matter that a few muggle-borns got scared and ran back home?"

"I don't know." Selene shrugged. "It's a lot to take in. If people are scared, really bad things are happening."

"Just stay out of it." Regulus said quietly, though not unkind. "It doesn't concern us right now. We should focus on the things happening right now, right here. You missed an announcement at dinner last night."

"Did I?" Selene said distractedly.

"Because students are scared and leaving, the Headmaster decided that instead of the traditional Hallowe'en Feast, we're going to have a dance."

Selene perked up immediately. "A dance?"

Regulus grinned. "Yes. And I was wondering if you might like to be my date for the evening."

"It can't hurt." She laughed, feeling her neck grow warm. Her sudden worries forgotten, now replaced by the excitement of going to a ball. It was perfect for her. She had plenty of dresses to wear that she had packed in anticipation for the winter months to end.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "A simple yes would have been fine."

She grinned. "At least I'm going."

"You would have gone by yourself." Regulus commented, resting his cheek on his fist. "Once you found out, that is."

"How do you know I wouldn't have asked you to go with me?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Would you have?"

Selene stood, patting him on the head as she slung her bag over her shoulder once more. "Maybe."

The rest of the day passed by relatively uneventful. Most of her energy was spent thinking about Regulus, the dance, the things Fiona had said, and lastly, Sirius.

She felt guilty for her excitement while Fiona was so upset. Selene thought to herself that between the two of them, she was the only one who belonged in Hufflepuff. Fiona was brave and smart, and too kind for her own good. She belonged in Gryffindor, where she would have probably ended up with a better friend. One that would have made her feel better about her decision to remain at Hogwarts.

Selene hadn't grown up with many people her age, and so having friends now had a tendency to throw her off. She didn't know how to react most of the time, and more often than not she failed at comforting the ones she cared for. She was going to try for Fiona. She didn't know what she could do, but she would try her best.

"Hey, Selene."

"Fiona!" Selene whirled around, adjusting her dress. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She said, plopping down on her bed. "You look nice."

Selene smiled. "Thank you. Are you going to the dance?"

She shrugged. "I was thinking about it."

"You should go." Selene insisted, sitting down beside her. "You can dance with Regulus and I. It'll be fun. You could use the distraction. We all need it."

"I don't really have anything to wear." She admitted.

Selene's smile widened and she rushed over to her suitcase, rummaging around. After a few minutes she pulled out one of her favorite dresses; a short, frilly summer dress, made out of shimmering gold satin. She held it out for Fiona to take.

"I can adjust it to fit you if there's something you don't like." Selene said, watching her hold it up to admire. "I learned a few tailoring spells over the summer. And if you'd like, I can braid your hair."

Fiona stood and pulled Selene in for a tight hug. "Thank you."

Selene laughed, slightly uncomfortable though she hugged her back. After a few moments, she held Fiona back at arms length.

"It's no problem. I know being here is hard for you, so I want to try to make it as easy as possible. I know I'm not that great with words, but I don't want you to end up leaving."

Fiona blushed. "You're a good friend. I'm going to go change."

Selene sat down on Fiona's bed, restarting her braid as she waited for her to finish changing. She had been to a few parties, mostly ones that her family hosted a few times a year, but she had never experienced a dance at Hogwarts. The only time she had ever heard of a dance taking place at Hogwarts was the Yule Ball, and since there were no more Triwizard Tournaments, she knew that she wouldn't get the chance to experience it.

But she was hopelessly excited for this opportunity to forget about the things that were upsetting her, to dress up, and dance the night away.

"How do I look?"

Selene looked up when she heard Fiona and grinned. "You look great. I don't think I even need to tailor it for you."

Fiona twirled once, smoothing the skirt down with a huge smile on her face.

"Thanks. I didn't think it would fit." She admitted. "You're so much smaller than me."

"Honestly it looks better on you." Selene laughed. "You fill it better than I do."

"You think so?" Fiona pulled her hair out of the ponytail she normally kept it in, letting it fall in loose brown waves a little past her shoulders. "I do love it though. Oh! Do you want me to do your makeup?"

"Sure."

Fiona grabbed a couple small bags from her trunk and made her way back over to her bed, seating herself in front of Selene and set to work.

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Three. One is older than me, but the other two are both seven. Twins. Close your eyes."

Selene did as she was told. "Do you think your younger sisters will be witches, too?"

"It's hard to tell. I never knew about any of this stuff until I got my letter. They have an advantage—they know about it because of me. But if there's no magic in their blood, it's not possible. No matter how much they experiment."

"Your older sister isn't a witch either?"

"No. You'd have met her if she was. We're only two years apart."

"Is she jealous of you?"

Fiona laughed. "No, of course not. She's heard everything about this place through me. Maybe she was at first, but after hearing my stories over the years she's more than happy to be considered normal."

"How do your parents feel about it?"

"They were scared out of their minds." Fiona chuckled. "They wanted to come with me my first year, meet all the teachers and whatnot, but they're okay with it now."

"So they approve of who you are now? They don't try to hang on to who you were before you found out you were a witch?"

She sighed. "It's complicated sometimes, but we get through it."

"What are they like? I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions."

Fiona laughed. "Don't worry, I like talking about my family. They're kind of ditzy, you could say. My mum is really forgetful and my dad thinks he's funnier than he actually is sometimes. He tells the same jokes a lot."

"They sound amazing." Selene said wistfully.

"Maybe you can come over some time. Like for the holidays." Fiona offered. "Finished. I hope you like it."

Selene took the mirror she offered. "Maybe. My parents like me to come home, though."

Fiona hadn't done anything elaborate, though the light bronze shimmer on her eyelids and black winged eyeliner seemed to make the blue in her eyes brighter.

"You're good at this." Selene said, still admiring her reflection. "I've never worn any makeup before."

"My older sister taught me how." Fiona said as she gathered all of her things and placed them back inside of her trunk. "She's better at it than I'll ever be though. I only know as much as I did for you."

Selene stood, sliding on her black flats and smoothing the skirt of her dress. It was deep blue and strapless. It fell just above her knees loosely, and shimmered softly as light caught it. She walked over to the door and opened it, grinning.

"Are you ready?"

Fiona smiled nervously. "As I'll ever be."


	12. Chapter Twelve

**A/N: hey!! Sorry it took me so long to finally update. Work and trying to get back into school has made it a busy couple of weeks. But I hope this chapter makes up for it. If you like it, please review! If you hate it let me know what sucks so I can try to fix it. xoxoxo~**

When Selene and Fiona made it to the Great Hall, Selene felt as though she had just had the wind knocked out of her. The Great Hall was even more amazing now than during the traditional feast. The ceiling was a stormy night sky, with the black silhouettes of live bats flying about. There were jack-o-lanterns big enough for three large men to sit in scattered along the walls, casting an eerie glow. The regular tables had been replaced with small round tables that hovered idly along the perimeter of the room, all of them covered with food and drinks. The ghosts flew about, scaring students who weren't paying attention. Some were even dancing to the music that blasted through the hall.

"I forgot to tell you to wear a mask."

Selene jumped, spinning around to face her date. "Regulus, you really need to stop scaring me like that!"

He laughed. "I do don't I. Who's this?"

They both turned to Fiona, who waved shyly.

"Oh, this is my friend, Fiona. We're in the same House and year." Selene explained with a smile. "I invited her."

"Excellent." Regulus smiled at her. "The more the merrier."

"Was it supposed to be a masquerade dance?" Selene asked as they followed Regulus further inside.

"No, but it is Halloween, so I thought it might be fun to wear them. There are a few other students here who seemed to have the same idea."

"I never pegged you as a follower." She teased.

"I thought I was being original until I got here."

The three of them walked over towards the nearest refreshment table. Selene looked around at all the different sweets and felt suddenly overwhelmed. She wanted to eat it all at once, it looked so good. Instead she picked up a goblet of pumpkin juice, sipping it as she turned to watch the crowd of dancing students. Everyone looked as though they were having so much fun. Who could be worried about anything right now?

Selene glanced at Fiona, who seemed to be discreetly dancing in place, waving the skirt of her dress back and forth to the beat.

"Do you want to dance?" Selene laughed, causing Fiona to turn red.

"Only if you guys want to."

Selene grinned and grabbed both Fiona's and Regulus's hand, pulling them out into the middle of the floor. Fiona laughed and spun around, still holding Selene's hand. This had to be the most fun she'd had in weeks. It felt so nice to forget about everything that had been worrying her.

Out of nowhere Regulus lifted Selene into the air and spun her around. She shrieked in surprise, though when he set her back down she erupted into a fit of giggles, wiping her eyes carefully to avoid destroying her makeup. He grabbed her hands and pulled her close before dipping her. Their eyes locked and for a moment she was at a loss. Should she laugh? What was he doing? What was this look for? Had his eyes always been this color?

"Hey, Selene."

Regulus lifted her back into a standing position quickly, making her head spin momentarily before her eyes focused on her Gryffindor friends. A pang of guilt made her heart clench and she looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I just needed space for a while. I was really hurt—"

"It's okay. Sirius has his own issues to take care of." James said, putting a hand on Selene's shoulders. "But you're our friend, no matter what he thinks."

She looked around. She saw Lily, Remus, and Peter all smiling at her, though Sirius was no where to be found. She looked up at James, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were narrowed on Regulus standing behind her.

"Oh, uh, you all have met Regulus." She said lamely.

James smiled at Regulus. "Stay hydrated, Black."

Selene stared after James dumbly as they all left. Lily waved over her shoulder, yelling something Selene didn't understand. Stay hydrated? That was the oddest thing she thought she would hear tonight. She turned to Regulus, though his expression had changed. He looked lost in thought. His eyes looked nervous somehow.

"Regulus? Are you alright?"

He jumped. "Me? I'm fine."

She walked up to him, placing her hand on his forehead. She frowned. "You seem warm and you're sweating. Maybe you should go rest?"

"We were just dancing. Maybe I just need some air. It's kind of stuffy in here, don't you think?" He took her arm, gently pulling her along. "Let's take a walk."

"What about—?"

"She found a dance partner. Don't worry about your friend."

Selene tried looking for Fiona, but there were too many students in the way. They had already nearly left the Great Hall.

"We haven't even been here that long." Selene said, trying to keep herself from whining. She didn't really want to leave.

"Don't worry, we can come back. I just need some air." He said, his steps seeming to be a little quicker. She struggled to keep up with his stride and ended up stumbling over her own feet. Her knees hit stone and she cried out in pain. She leaned back on her hands, carefully stretching her legs out to examine the damage.

"It's just a couple scrapes." Regulus murmured, leaning over her. "I can heal it no problem."

"Where did you learn a healing spell?"

Selene winced as her knees suddenly felt cold then hot, and then she felt nothing. She looked at her knees in awe, rubbing the smooth skin as though nothing had happened.

"I learned it on my own." He said, offering his hand to help her up. "I'm sorry for rushing you."

"What are you in such a hurry for?" She asked, brushing off her dress. "You said you wanted to walk."

"I might have also planned a surprise."

Selene frowned. "You know how I feel about this sort of thing. I hope this doesn't have anything to do with my birthday."

"That's in the past." Regulus said, suddenly reaching for her hand. Though she had put a little strain on their relationship, Selene still wore the bracelet her friends had given to her on that night. She loved it, though she would hesitate to admit it. He adjusted the bracelet so the dog charm sat on top of her wrist for the both of them to see. "I invited you to a dance. It's a bit crowded in there, so I thought we could take the evening elsewhere."

Selene could feel her heart quicken. She pulled her hand away, holding it over her heart. "Let's see it then."

"Follow me." Regulus grinned at her and walked a few steps ahead. At first Selene couldn't tell where he was taking her, but as they climbed flight after flight of stairs, she began to have an idea.

"The Astronomy Tower?"

"It's my favorite place." He said, glancing over his shoulder as they climbed a set of spiraling stairs. "You can see everything from up there. It's quiet. Whenever I need somewhere to think, you can almost always find me here."

When they reached the top of the stairs, Selene couldn't help her little gasp. Sure, the view was magnificent, but she only had eyes for the little picnic set up near the edge of the tower, looking out onto the school grounds. Candles illuminated the dark room, scattered along the perimeter of a golden sheet on the floor.

"Do you like it?"

Selene swallowed hard. "It's a bit... romantic, don't you think?"

Regulus shrugged. "Who said friends can't enjoy a nice night alone together?"

He sat down on one side of the sheet, pulling out an assortment of snacks and drinks. Selene slowly moved to sit down across from him, eyeing him warily. Regulus had managed to find a place in her heart over the time they had gotten to know each other. He was handsome and charming, and their betrothal still loomed over her head like a sword.

"But this is a lot." She murmured, looking at the candles and all of the food, mostly consisting of nothing but her favorite sweets. Was this what a date was supposed to be like? She hadn't agreed to a date.

"Don't worry about all this." Regulus said casually. "Between classes and everything that's been going on recently, I just wanted the two of us to spend more time together."

"I've been spending all of my time with you for the past month." Selene said with a frown. "So I'm sorry if I just don't understand the need for all of this."

Regulus grimaced. "Live a little. I'm not trying to seduce you or anything."

Selene felt her face get hot. "I wasn't—that's not what I thought this was. I simply—"

Regulus cut her off with a loud laugh. "There's your problem right there. You're too uptight. Just relax. Eat some chocolate and stare at the sky."

She huffed and grabbed a handful of candy before standing and walking over to the railing, sitting so her legs dangled over the edge. She rested her arms on the metal bar and ate her toffee slowly, looking up at the stars. She heard the scuffing of Regulus's shoes as he moved to sit beside her.

"Do you ever wonder what it's like to be a muggle?" She asked. "Not having to worry about magic and all the bad stuff that seems to come with it?"

"Even the muggle world has problems like we do." He responded, laying back against the stone floor. "Evil men who want the world to worship the ground they walk on. It happens everywhere. We're not special."

Selene glanced at him, trying to think of a way to respond. She hadn't expected an answer like that from him.

"You don't think it's right, do you?"

Regulus looked at her. "That's a really broad question."

She sighed. "All of it. They try to hide it from us, but I heard it all day. The students talk about it. He's out there killing people. Even purebloods, if they don't support his cause."

"Killing people isn't right." He said slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. "They just don't want the students to start panicking. We're safe here. You shouldn't worry."

Selene didn't feel safe. Hogwarts was like a fortress, but it wasn't her location that made her feel safe or otherwise. In the face of this darkness she felt weak most of all. She knew how to defend herself but she didn't know how to be strong. Selene used to think she was privileged to have been born into her status. Now she felt this weight on her shoulders. There were too many choices for her to make. If things kept getting worse, would she fight or would she run and hide?

"I'm going to worry." She whispered.

Regulus sat up and slid closer, wrapping his arm around her tightly. After a moment of hesitation she leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. She tried to imagine them like this years from now, in their own home, but failed. But she couldn't deny the fact that she was comfortable like this. Something about that moment felt right, and she didn't want to ruin it with words. She could stay sitting there forever with him.

"Do you ever think we're just too different sometimes?"

Selene jumped at his sudden words. "What do you mean?"

"You're... pure, I guess. You know that?" Their eyes met again and Selene couldn't help but hold her breath. "You can be kind to everyone without a second thought, even if those people hurt you. I'm not the same."

"You could be." Selene whispered. "You're kind to me. That counts for something, right?"

He chuckled and looked away, staring up at the sky. Selene frowned and cast her eyes down to her hands, clenched into a fist on her lap. She had thought she and Regulus were alike, at least in some ways. They came from the same kind of family, they were pressured for perfection in the same way, neither of them seemed to know exactly what they wanted. Even if he hid it, Selene knew Regulus was not a mean spirit. She knew better.

Selene reached for his hand and stood, gently urging for him to follow. With a frown Regulus pushed himself up from the ground and followed her back to the sheet he had laid out for them. Closer to the candle light, she could see his face better now than in the moonlight.

"I'm warning you now... my only flaw is that I can't dance."

Regulus laughed. "You weigh practically nothing! Just take your shoes off and stand on my feet."

Selene stared at him. She hadn't done anything like that since she was a little girl. "You're serious?"

"Absolutely. What's the matter?"

"I—I just thought you might think it was childish." She said as she removed her shoes and moved to stand in front of him.

Regulus placed his hand on her waist gently, and without a word, pulled her close. Selene practically ignited with embarrassment, though she tried to hide it by burying her face in his shoulder. She could feel him laughing at her.

With his left arm around her waist, Regulus took her other hand and laced their fingers together, slowly beginning to dance, though there was no music to dance to. Selene might have thought it was a little weird if she didn't feel so comfortable in that moment. She didn't know being this close to another person could make her feel so at ease.

Selene closed her eyes and imagined they were laying in a tiny boat, cuddling beneath the night sky, their breath white in the chilly air. There were soft waves gently rocking the boat back and forth, like the slow sway of their dance. It made her sleepy thinking about it.

Regulus could be perfect for her. She had been furious with her parents for choosing her life partner without her knowledge or consent, but she had to admit that they had done a pretty good job. But he was more a perfect friend than anything. Selene knew marrying her best friend was her best possible option, despite the fact that it was also the only option she had. But she wanted more.

"Have you ever thought about defying your parents, Regulus?" Selene asked quietly, her eyes still closed.

There was a long stretch of silence before he answered.

"Not really, no. Why?"

"I'm starting to think they don't know best." She looked up at him. His expression was guarded, his storm grey eyes filled with confusion. "I should be the one who knows what's best for me, right?"

"Right." He grimaced. "What are you thinking right now?"

"Just because we're young doesn't mean we can't make decisions for ourselves." She backed away from him, running her fingers through her hair as she spoke. "I'm not too young to know that I want real love. You know what I mean?"

Regulus opened his mouth like he was going to say something but closed it again, clearly at a loss for words.

"I don't want to marry you." Selene said carefully. "It's not because of anything you did. But I want to make my future my own, and that means falling in love on my own terms."

The silence that stretched on was uncomfortable. Selene's anxiety grew as she watched Regulus, trying to decipher the thousand expressions on his face.

"So there's someone else you like?"

Though Selene shrugged, she felt her heart squeeze painfully. She had no one in mind particularly, but she felt guilty.

"I'm sorry." She looked down at the floor, squeezing her fingers. "I know you must've wanted tonight to be special, but that's why I had to say something."

"Hey." She felt his fingers touch her cheek and she looked up shyly, surprised to see that he was smiling. "I'm glad you told me."

"You're not mad?"

"How could I be mad?" He laughed. Without warning he pulled her in for a hug, confusing her even more. He was happy?

"I don't know, I just thought you'd be at least a little upset." She said warily. Something was off. She didn't trust how easy this had been. "We had agreed to just be friends, I know, but I thought you were still hoping for more."

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." He said, still holding her. "That's what friends are for, right?"

She leaned back to look at him, searching his eyes. With a frown she nodded.

"Right."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Later that night, Selene found herself tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep. She couldn't get what had happened out of her head. She still couldn't believe how easy it had been to tell Regulus how she felt. Or rather she couldn't believe how easily he had accepted her words. Selene had expected him to argue back, to tell her that she couldn't just go against her parents like that, but he didn't do any of that.

In fact, he had seemed thrilled to hear her words. She rolled over and stared into the darkness, remembering the way he'd smiled, but failed to come up with a reasonable explanation. Had he wanted to marry her in the first place or had it all been a show for her and his parents? Maybe he had only intended for them to believe he was happy about their betrothal.

Selene sighed heavily and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face as she slid out of bed and pulled on her shoes. If she couldn't sleep, maybe going for a walk would help.

She just had too much going through her mind. Regulus aside, she was sort of afraid of her decision to make her own choices. Sure, she'd thought about doing it before, even planned on doing it, but she'd never actually done it. She was a good, obedient child. Even if she doubted her parents, she kept her mouth shut and dutifully did as she was told. But where was she supposed to draw the line between living her own life or living one mapped out by her family? Selene couldn't imagine living a life she hadn't chosen happily.

As she walked she trailed her fingers along the walls, the stone rough and cold beneath her touch. The castle was eerie at night, with long columns of moonlight shining through tall windows being the only source of light. She could hardly see a few feet in front of her. A small part of her wanted to go back to her dorm and curl up underneath her warm blankets, but sleep would evade her still.

Selene didn't entirely know where she was going, or what her goal was by wandering around the school, but it felt good to move around.

She thought she knew Regulus well, but now she doubted herself. She didn't understand how something so simple would make her overthink so much. She should just forget about it, they were both seemingly happy with her decision. Who was she to try and figure out why? She should just be happy it had gone so well.

Selene turned towards one of the windows and leaned against the sill, propping her head up on the palm of her hand, staring out at the school grounds. Of course there wasn't much to see in the lighting she had, but she wasn't trying to sightsee.

A quiet tap to her left made her glance to the side, her thoughtful expression turning to surprise.

"You're up late."

"So are you."

They stared at each other for a moment, though Selene felt like she was glaring more than anything. Sirius Black stood before her in all his glory, his trademark smirk plastered to his face. Seeing him there pissed her off... but also made her feel a vague sense of happiness. Was he still mad at her?

"You look like you have a lot on your mind."

She shrugged, turning her gaze outward again. "A lot has happened in the time you've been ignoring me. Or should I say avoiding me?"

"I wasn't ignoring you." He sighed, leaning against the wall beside her. "Maybe I did a little avoiding, but I had my own reasons."

"Was it because of something I did?" She asked quietly. "Because I don't know what I've ever done to you. You confuse me."

He sighed again, exasperated. "You still think I hate you?"

"What am I supposed to think?" She laughed, though it was humorless. "You're mean to me for years without a solid reason, and then just when I think you want to be my friend you stop talking to me entirely."

She couldn't stop the way her voice shook as she spoke, but she kept the tears from falling. He didn't know how much it had really upset her. Of course she hardly understood why it had upset her in the first place, but it had. It had hurt more than she thought it would. How could it hurt to lose a friend she'd never had?

"I'm sorry, Selene." He murmured. "Truly, I am. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Apology accepted." She sniffled, rubbing her eyes. She turned to face him after a moment, suddenly feeling shy. "Friends?"

"Friends." Sirius was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again. "So why are you up so late? I figured you would have been exhausted after dancing the night away."

"Oh, well I actually didn't stay out very late." Selene said evasively. "I'm not a very good dancer so I didn't dance much."

Sirius chuckled. "I could teach you to dance. I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself."

Selene felt her face get hot. "I doubt you're patient enough to teach someone like me. I just have no rhythm."

"We could start slow." He crossed his arms over his chest, watching her. "You could even stand on my feet if it would make you feel any better."

Selene tensed. "I—no. It's alright. I doubt there's going to be a need to dance any time soon. Thank you though."

Sirius snorted, shaking his head. "Honestly though, why are you up so late? No one walks around at this time of night for no reason."

"I just had a lot on my mind. I thought taking a walk would help me think and clear things up." She shrugged.

"My brother didn't do anything to upset you did he?"

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Why would you ask that?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm just curious."

"He didn't do anything." She said finally.

"Hm." He hummed thoughtfully, looking away from her. "But something is bothering you. If we're friends, you can tell me anything."

Selene bit her lip. "It's not really something I can talk about to just anyone."

"I understand." He pushed himself away from the wall and slowly paced in silence. Selene couldn't shake the growing tension. Sirius was alarmingly perceptive to guess his brother was the root of her unease, but she couldn't tell him why. She didn't want to. If he knew about the betrothal she didn't know what he would do or say. Of course she had called it off, and maybe he would be proud of her for it, but she didn't want to know how he'd react.

"Why are _you_ up so late?" She countered, feeling triumphant. She could ask questions too.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm always up late. Up to no good, you see. I've only got another year left."

"That's right." Selene suddenly felt sad. Sirius and the rest of their friends would graduate next year, Regulus the following year... and she would be left alone. Of course she had Fiona, but it wouldn't be the same. "I always forget you're older than me."

"Girls mature faster." He grinned, leaning against the wall again. "It's easy to forget. But I'm not that much older."

"I keep hearing that." She rolled her eyes. "When are boys supposed to mature?"

He shrugged, smirking. "If we have a good, responsible woman looking after us, I don't think we have to."

Selene snorted. "Well I hope for your sake that you find someone who can tolerate you for that long."

"You seem to tolerate me."

"I—" Selene shook her head vehemently. "W-well we're friends, so of course I tolerate you."

"Mhm." He nodded, though he was smiling.

Despite the lack of light, Selene could see that his smile now was different from the others she'd seen from him. It wasn't haughty or sarcastic. It was genuine, and though his eyes were dark, he shined like the sun in that moment. She cleared her throat and looked away quickly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. She could hear her heart beating in her ears.

She had always admired Sirius at the very least. He was strong and outspoken, and though he could be a bully, he had a kind spot somewhere in him. From her first day at Hogwarts, he had always been there, even if his presence only upset her or stressed her out. There had been little moments in the beginning that she could remember even now where they'd managed to scrape together something close to friendship. Those moments she had held onto.

"Have you ever thought about what you would do after school?" Sirius asked, finally breaking the silence.

"No." Selene admitted. "I never thought I would have the choice."

"That makes it sound like you suddenly have a choice."

Selene looked up at him. His smile was gone but his expression wasn't unkind. He looked thoughtful. She would have given anything to read his mind right then.

"I do." She smiled at him, though it was a half smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "And I'm more confused now than I've ever been. Some kids have at least some aspect of their life planned out at this point. I've had it all planned for me up until now."

"What changed your mind? About going your own way, I mean."

She hesitated. "Have you ever been in love?"

It was his turn to be caught off guard, though she spoke again before he could stammer out an answer.

"I know I've never been in love. But I want to be. I want to experience it on my own terms. I want to love someone who loves me back. I want my heart broken and I want to get back up again. I want to feel what a normal girl gets to feel when her crush walks into the room." She took a deep, shaky breath.

"No one wants a broken heart." He finally said, dumbfounded.

She looked at him with a grim smile. "No, you're right. But still... I don't know." She laughed, shaking her head at herself. "I don't know what I want!"

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up." Sirius said suddenly, in a rush. He cleared his throat and spoke slower. "And I was wondering if you would like to come with me."

"Sure, I guess. But won't you have your friends with you?"

He grinned. "We can ditch them. I want to spend time with you."

Selene blushed and looked down. "I definitely can't say no now."

"You could." He raised an eyebrow. "But I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Come on, I'll walk you back. We're gonna get caught just standing here."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Selene stared at the canopy of her bed, wondering exactly what it was she was doing. Regulus at her back, making things both easier and harder for her, and Sirius ahead of her, confusing her left and right. And to make matters worse, they were brothers.

Maybe she couldn't get over Regulus's unquestioning acceptation because she had hoped he would fight for her. It was silly for her to think that way, because there wasn't really anything to fight for. He had her. Despite her decision he still had her unless she disappeared.

Or told her parents.

Selene closed her eyes and tried to imagine that particular scenario going well, but pictured everything except that. She knew it wouldn't. Her mother would implode and her father might have a mental breakdown.

Could she deny an attraction to Regulus? They got along so well, and maybe if he would rebel a little bit she would like him better. She felt like that made her selfish though. It was like she wanted him to be Sirius. If she could just choose it would make things easier.

But then there was Sirius. He was brave and rebellious, smart, cunning, funny... she could go on. It wasn't that Regulus lacked those qualities, Sirius just seemed to have them all in abundance. She admired him and hated him in the same breath.

Was it selfish to want them both? She wasn't sure what she wanted out of either of them. She liked Regulus. She liked Sirius. Did other girls experience this sort of thing? Were other girls kept up all night worrying about what to do next?

Her weekend with Sirius was in two days. She didn't want to think of it like a date, but as the days passed and her anxiety grew, it was like it was. Ditching James and Lily, Remus, and Peter; going off on their own to spend time together. Alone.

Selene groaned out loud and rolled over, looking out the window separating her bed and Fiona's, staring at the gray sky. As bleak as her mood. She wanted to skip her classes, fake some sort of illness so she could avoid any sort of social interaction, but decided against it. It would bring down more stress on her than she knew she could handle at the moment.

After a few agonizing minutes of self-motivation, Selene dragged herself out of bed and got dressed for the day, settling for a ponytail instead of her usual French braid, uninterested in having to deal with the work that came with it. As she finished gathering her things, she shook Fiona awake, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"I know it's early, but you never wake up on time." Selene frowned. "Usually. But I'm going to go ahead and go. So make sure you're up."

Fiona grumbled inaudibly, squinting at her friend before rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Why are you up?"

"I've got some things I want to do." Selene said easily, shrugging. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you at breakfast."

"Uh... okay." Fiona blinked a few times and then waved half-heartedly, falling back against her pillows with a heavy sigh. "Have fun."

Selene hurried out of their dorm and into the common room, ignoring the few half-asleep students milling about as they tried to wake themselves up. Her journey to the library was uneventful, thankfully. She went to her usual spot near the back and sat down, pulling out a small journal, her inkwell and quill. She opened the book to a random blank page and stared at it helplessly, her quill hovering, threatening to drip ink onto the parchment.

If, in the unlikely event of her telling her parents, she wanted to have the words planned and ready. But nothing was coming to mind. There was no right way to disappoint her parents.

 _Dear Mum and Dad,_

 _I don't want to marry Regulus._

Selene stared at her words for what seemed like forever, the black ink bold and accusing against the off-white color of the parchment. Would her actions hurt Regulus too? Between hearing stories from both of the brothers, Selene figured the Black family was as bad as her own, if not much worse. Would they disown Regulus like they did to Sirius for not being able to reign in her impulsive thoughts? Was she being impulsive?

If she had just kept her mouth shut, would she have decided she wanted to try something more with Regulus? That night could have been special if she had allowed it. Who had been hiding in her heart when she had been dancing with Regulus?

"Doing some extra credit?"

"Regulus!" Selene slammed her journal shut, nearly tipping over her inkwell in the process. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to breakfast when I saw you." He sat down in the seat beside her, his eyes moving between the journal and Selene. "What were you doing?"

"I was just uh... writing. In my diary." She stammered. "So you can't read it."

He laughed. "Isn't that something people normally do in private?"

"It was private until you showed up."

His happy expression faded slightly and Selene instantly felt regret.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to come out like that. Of course I'm happy you're here." She tried to smile. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"That should be your motto." Regulus said, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. "You say that a lot."

She shrugged. "It's the truth."

"Anything you can talk to me about?"

"No, not really." She cleared her throat and looked down at her journal. "It's, uh, personal."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "If you say so. I haven't been able to talk to you recently. I meant to say I had a great time with you the other night. I was stuck in the infirmary for a couple days."

"Oh! Are you alright? What happened?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Had a bit of a nasty fall on the stairs. Apparently I had broken my arm in a few places and fractured my ankle. Madam Pomfrey fixed me up but I'm still stiff."

Selene sat back in her seat in shock. "I didn't even know. I'm so sorry, Regulus. If I had I would have visited you."

He grinned. "Don't beat yourself up. I was asleep most of the time. Madam Pomfrey was good company when I was awake, except she wouldn't stop telling me how lucky I was to have fallen while the stairs weren't moving."

"Well she's right." Selene scoffed. "You could have died."

"Well I didn't." He shrugged, still smiling. "I have many more of those dances to look forward to."

She frowned. "Uh, yeah, about that... did the fall, uh— I mean to say, did you hit your head when you fell?"

"If I did, I don't think I'd remember it." He glanced at her journal again. "Why, should I have bumped my head?"

"N-no. I—I'm glad you're okay." She said evasively. Inside though, she felt panic and relief. Regulus didn't remember. There was no way. If he did though he wouldn't be saying those things, he would be upset with her, questioning her... and he was doing none of that.

"You're acting kind of weird." Regulus grimaced. "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine." She quipped. "Why don't we walk to breakfast together? I'm starting to feel hungry."

He shrugged and stood, waiting for her to gather her things. As they walked, Selene's mind was racing, as always. How had she not realized Regulus had been missing over the last few days? Had she been so focused on herself that she had completely neglected thinking of where he'd been?

To top it off he seemed to have absolutely no clue of the events that occurred that night. She had been so sure he would have been angry with her, confused when he wasn't, and now doubt further plagued her. Something wasn't adding up.

When they reached the Great Hall, Selene said her goodbyes and made her way over to the Hufflepuff table, sitting near the end where she would be alone. Fiona waved at her but she pretended not to see, her eyes roaming the hall as she made herself a plate.

Regulus had already sat down, talking to some of his friends and laughing, gesturing to his arm. Someone punched it, and though he winced, he laughed it off and rolled his shoulder a few times. Her eyes moved again, this time landing on her group of Gryffindor friends. They were easy to find, what with all the noise the guys seemed to be making, and Lily shaking her head in disapproval. Selene couldn't help but smile.

Sirius seemed to look up at that moment, his eyes searching until they found her and their gazes locked for an instant before Selene quickly looked down, staring at the food on her golden plate, feeling her appetite slowly fading. Her dilemmas were as high as a mountain by now.

"Are you okay? I tried getting your attention but I guess you didn't see me." Fiona said as she sat down beside Selene. "You look upset."

"I'm sorry." Selene pushed her plate away. "I kind of wanted to sit alone."

"Do you want me to go?"

Selene shrugged. "No, it's alright."

There was a pause. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Selene looked at Fiona. Maybe she should talk to someone. It wasn't doing her any favors keeping it all locked away in her head, but there were so many people who didn't need to know what was going on. She couldn't talk to Regulus or Sirius or even Lily, simply because she was friends with Sirius. Even if she was sworn to secrecy, would she tell James? And would James tell his best friend? Fiona was her only option at this point, and her closest friend aside from the others.

"It's a lot."

"We can skip Potions." Fiona offered. "I don't mind."

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"I'll think of an excuse." Fiona smiled and stood up. "My best friend needs me. Slughorn can get over it for today. Come on, I know the perfect spot."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**A/N: so since I've been off from work I've been trying to write and update more than I have been to make up for how long it took before. I'm also trying to work on the pace of the story. I know the chapters aren't long, but yes the plot is definitely building. I hope you enjoy this little chapter. I enjoyed writing it.**

Selene hated silence. She'd always known that about herself, but it was apparent now more than ever. Fiona had taken her out to the lake, and they'd made themselves comfortable behind a very large tree, bundled in their coats to protect themselves from the winter chill. Selene had explained everything to her, starting with the betrothal and ending with Sirius asking her out to Hogsmeade. She chewed on her lip anxiously as she waited for Fiona to answer.

"Shit." Fiona swore, her eyes round with shock. "I can't believe you've been dealing with that."

"It's not that serious." Selene shrugged. "It's all one big personal issue. And very secret. You can't tell anyone. You have to promise."

"I promise. But what are you going to do? From everything you told me, clearly you can't just tell your mum and dad you won't do as you're told." Fiona mused out loud. "And what are you going to do about Sirius and Regulus? I can't believe you fell for brothers."

"I didn't fall for them!" Selene exclaimed heatedly. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I didn't. Really. I thought I could try to like Regulus, and then Sirius decides to suddenly start talking to me again and shakes my resolve. I don't like going against what my parents tell me. But..."

"But?"

"If I tell Sirius I can't talk to him anymore, and if I tell him why, I don't know who it will hurt more... me or him?"

Fiona rubbed her chin. "You should keep talking to both of them."

Selene gaped at her friend. "And continue stressing myself out? Good advice."

"You said it yourself. You can't ignore Regulus because he doesn't even seem to remember what happened after you left the dance. And you can't ignore Sirius because you don't want to hurt or be hurt."

Selene groaned and let her head fall into her hands. When had life gotten so complicated? Before her fourth year, everything had been relatively simple. No boys, no drama. Now it all seemed to fall from the sky.

"I just want a little bit of normalcy. Is that so much to ask for?" Selene whined through her fingers. "I didn't ask for all of this."

"Maybe you did." Fiona hesitated. "Regulus was handed to you, but you sort of dragged Sirius into this."

"What?" Selene whirled on Fiona, feeling her anger beginning to simmer. "How in the world am I the one who dragged him into this? He started it from the beginning! All the times he called me out for things I couldn't control, pissed me off, made me cry... I just wanted him to stop being so mean..."

"You're getting what you wanted." Fiona offered. "He's not being mean anymore."

Selene tilted her head back, staring up at the dying leaves, or what was left of them anyway. "I want to find friends and love on my own."

"Maybe that's your problem."

"What is?"

"You love the idea of love." She said, pulling her knees up to her chest. "You seem obsessed with falling in love, and yet you've never even had a boyfriend. And now that you have two guys who really want you, you realize you don't even know what you want."

"I thought finally talking to someone about my problems was supposed to help." Selene muttered sarcastically, pushing the heels of her boots deep into the snow.

"Sorry." Fiona sighed. "Alright, lets take a step back then. We can talk about the dance. Tell me what happened again."

"We were all dancing in the Great Hall, James said something really weird to Regulus—"

"What did he say?"

Selene grimaced. "Stay hydrated."

Fiona nodded, looking thoughtful. "Keep going."

"Well we pretty much left right after that. He led me to the Astronomy Tower, where he had set up this little picnic, with candles and everything. We talked for a little while, and then we danced. After that I told him I didn't want to marry him."

"And you said he didn't seem to mind at all? He was happy about it?"

"Yeah, it was weird." Selene looked at her friend. "He asked if it was because I liked someone else."

"What did you say?"

Selene looked away, embarrassed. "Honestly, I-I don't remember, exactly. I probably said no."

"So he doesn't know you're falling for his older brother?"

"I'm not falling for Sirius!" Selene shouted, smacking her fists against the ground. She stared at Fiona, wide-eyed and angry. "We're just friends."

"Alright, alright." Fiona smirked, holding her hands up in surrender. "So what are you gonna do about your date?"

Selene huffed, leaning back against the tree, crossing her arms over her chest.

"First of all—not a date. Second of all, I don't know. He said we would leave the others behind, but I have no clue what else he has planned. He's unpredictable."

There was another stretch of silence, though Selene was glad for it this time. Talking to Fiona was bringing everything back to the surface. Everything she had repressed over the months and years. No matter how many times she told Fiona she wasn't falling for either of them, she could feel herself beginning to forget who it was she was trying to convince.

"I think you should talk to James." Fiona finally said. "He was there during your birthday thing, which by the way I'm mad you didn't tell me. You said he had no idea what Sirius was doing?"

"Right."

"Maybe he was lying for his best friend." She suggested. "Like, yeah sure you're all friends and whatnot, but those two have been inseparable since their first year. He wouldn't have told you what Sirius was up to just because you asked."

"That makes sense." Selene grimaced and rubbed her face. "I just don't want him running back to Sirius to tell him everything I'll say."

"Even if he does, I think he's your best bet right now for finding anything out." Fiona looked apologetic. "I'm sorry I'm not very helpful."

Selene shook her head. "No, you have been. I'm just being difficult."

"That's who you really are though." Fiona grinned as she stood, brushing snow from her pants and offering her hand to Selene who gladly took it. "You're a spoiled teenage girl. Naturally you're going to be difficult."

Selene glared at her, though she was fighting a smile. Without warning she hugged Fiona tight, then let her go abruptly.

"Sorry." She laughed, rubbing the back of her neck. "Thank you for everything."

"Any time. Just don't keep it to yourself anymore, okay? I'm here for you like you were there for me."

Selene nodded and smiled. "I'll talk to James tonight, I think. The weekend is almost here, so I'm running out of time."

"Maybe he doesn't know anything, but maybe he does." Fiona said as they walked. "I really think he will though. Or he'll have something important to tell you. I don't think there's anyone here who knows Sirius as well as James Potter."

Fiona was right. Selene felt as though James probably really hadn't known what Sirius was taking from the Potions storeroom, but he had to know after the fact. Or have some idea, at least. He wouldn't just admit the truth though, so she would have to figure out what she was going to say. James was smart, though he could be thick sometimes. It wouldn't be simple but she could do it. She hoped she could.

"Do you think we'll get detention for skipping?" Selene asked once they were inside the school, trying to rub the chill from her fingers.

Fiona shrugged. "Who cares? Slughorn isn't known for his cruelty."

"You sound like a Gryffindor." Selene teased.

"We all have a little of each House in us." She winked. "But I'm not nearly brave enough."

"Neither am I." Selene sighed. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

Selene thought about that for a minute. "Everything."


	16. Chapter Sixteen

As soon as her last class was over, Selene made her way towards the Gryffindor Tower, having decided that she would catch James leaving the common room and ask him then. No matter which way she planned it, she knew she wouldn't find him alone.

She wasn't expecting to get much from him either. Selene knew she would have to ask direct questions without giving away her own secrets. She didn't want to cast her suspicions out in the open, because no matter what she said, she knew that once James was back with his friends, Sirius would ask him. And James probably wouldn't hesitate to tell him everything.

Selene didn't understand why she was so suspicious, especially of Sirius. But if things had gone differently, as in if Regulus could remember what she had said to him, she wouldn't be filled with so much doubt. Regulus wasn't forgetful, at least not about something as important as calling off their betrothal. He might've even been angry with her, but he wasn't. He didn't even know. But he had accepted it without question that night.

Anyone could see that it just didn't add up. And though there was no evidence that logically casted suspicion towards Sirius, she could only think of him. The problem was that she didn't even know what had been done. Did he alter Regulus's memory? Was he the one to cause his accident on the stairs? And if she was right, what was his motivation?

Why the hell would he do something like this?

Selene leaned against the wall and dropped her bag on the floor beside her, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited. She didn't know where he was or what he was doing, but even if it meant skipping dinner, she wouldn't miss the opportunity to talk to James.

She also had to wonder if she wasn't just jumping to conclusions and accusing Sirius of something he didn't do. Maybe someone else was the culprit. Maybe Regulus had hurt himself worse than he thought and that's why he couldn't remember everything. But no matter what, she was getting her questions answered. Fiona was right. James had to be her best bet to trying to figure things out. If it had been Sirius, then who else would he confide in?

"Hey, Selene."

She looked up at the sound of her name and saw them: James, Sirius trailing not too far behind, with Remus and Peter on either side of him. When Sirius saw her he stopped talking and watched, his expression passive.

"James, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course. What's up?"

She looked at the others. "Alone?"

"Uh, yeah." He turned to his friends. "I'll catch up."

They watched silently as the guys shuffled past the Fat Lady's portrait and into the common room. Selene didn't speak until the door was firmly shut. James was watching her curiously.

"I just have a few questions." Selene started, suddenly feeling awkward. "I've been thinking about something that happened recently and... I think Sirius may be behind it."

James raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"I said something to Regulus the other night at the dance, but he doesn't remember it." Selene picked up her bag and they walked together, in no particular direction. "I know people can forget things, but I know he wouldn't have forgotten what I said. It was... extremely important."

James was silent for a moment. "Didn't he recently have an accident? Maybe that's why."

"I thought about that, too." Selene sighed. "He said he didn't hit his head."

"And so you think that Sirius had something to do with what exactly? Regulus getting hurt? That's a pretty big accusation."

"I don't know what to think, that's why I'm asking you." She paused. "I don't think he would hurt his brother intentionally, even if they're not on the best terms, but I can't think of anyone else. After what happened at my birthday party, I can't help but be suspicious."

"He was just trying to scare you, Selene." James chuckled. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything about it, but that night was all planned."

"So you lied to me about not knowing what he was up to?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I mean I knew that he wanted to freak you out, but I never found out what he grabbed from the storeroom. He kept that to himself."

Selene couldn't believe it. "You don't even know."

She couldn't help feeing defeated. It was another dead end she'd come to.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help you more."

"You lied to me before." Selene said, ignoring his apology. "Would you lie to me now?"

"Selene, listen." James stopped walking and turned to face her, his expression careful. "Sirius is my best friend. He's like my brother. If he needs me to lie for him, then I will, usually. If I know it's not terrible. And I'm sure you know that just by asking me, I'm not going to tell you whether or not I'm lying to you. Sirius doesn't think things through all the time, and it tends to blow up in his face, but I will say this. No matter what you think you know, Sirius isn't a bad guy. He just..."

"Just?"

James raked his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated. "Once he sets his mind to something, he won't stop until it's done. If he wants something, he won't stop until it's his."

Selene bit her lip, thinking. Of course she had known that James wouldn't tell her anything Sirius had told him not to repeat. But she had hoped. She had gotten nowhere with this.

"Alright, well thanks anyway." Selene said as she turned to walk away, but James stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't read into it too much. Sirius didn't do anything, okay? He wouldn't hurt Regulus."

She nodded and without another word she walked away. Did Selene believe he was telling the truth? Not the whole truth, at least. If they were as close as she thought they were, Sirius wouldn't hide something from James unless he knew he wouldn't approve. Would James approve of an assault on Regulus?

She couldn't imagine the two brothers feuding enough for it to come to violence. Sure they didn't see eye to eye, and Sirius had left his younger brother behind, but pushing him down the stairs? He could've been killed. No matter how Sirius felt about his family, surely his brother would've been at the bottom of his hit list. Sirius wasn't a killer.

No matter what James told her, she knew she wasn't wrong to be suspicious of Sirius. She had no proof though. And without proof, all she had were empty words.

"Hey, how did it go?"

Selene threw her bag down on the bench beside her and buried her face in her arms.

"It was a dead end."

Fiona grimaced. "Maybe Sirius really didn't have anything to do with it."

"I don't believe that." Selene sat up, pursing her lips in thought. "There's gotta be another way to figure this out. James couldn't have been my only option."

"You could always ask the others." Fiona offered, taking a sip of her juice. "But I'm sure they'll have heard about it by now."

Selene nodded. "Yeah. Or at least James only told Sirius, so maybe Peter and Remus are still in the dark."

"Which one is the smart one?"

"Remus."

"Ask him, then. If Sirius was making a potion, maybe he asked Remus for help."

"Yeah, but the Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow." Selene groaned. "I'll have to wait."

Fiona shrugged. "Maybe you should wait. You're gonna become borderline obsessed. Just have fun tomorrow on your date—"

Selene glared at her. Fiona grinned.

"Sorry. Really though, just have fun. Forget about everything you think he's doing and just enjoy the time you get to spend with him."

Selene grimaced. "Yeah, sure. I'll do that."


End file.
